


One More New Direction

by KatyObsesses



Series: One More New Direction [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Coming of Age, F/F, F/M, Glee Season 2 re-write, M/M, Multi, OC centric, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Re-write, Season 2, Slice of Life, season 2 re-write
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:06:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 25,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27236227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatyObsesses/pseuds/KatyObsesses
Summary: A Glee Season 2 re-writeWilliam McKinley High School in Lima, Ohio was the stereotypical all-american high school. It was like something out of a TV show or a movie. Cliques and groups dominated the cafeteria, the jocks walked around in letterman jackets, and the cheerleaders exclusively wore their uniforms.Erin Bailey tried her best to fit in during her first few weeks... She was glad she was a freshman. She wasn’t the only new kid, wasn’t the only kid in her year getting lost in the halls. If she kept quiet, made her voice sound vaguely midwestern, and only answered roll calls and whatever questions the teachers threw her way, her invisible act would stay in place. It was like one long acting gig and the school was her stage.Kids who’d gone to Lima West middle school assumed she’d gone to North, and those who went to North assumed she’d gone to West.In actuality, Erin had gone to a school much farther than any of them would guess, thousands of miles across the atlantic ocean in England.
Relationships: Most of The Canon Relationships, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Series: One More New Direction [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1864348
Kudos: 14





	1. The Next Four Years In This Town

**Author's Note:**

> This is an OC centric fic, and I'm terrified to post it becauase of that, but I love it and I hope you do to. This will be long, eventually, I already have over 70,000 words in this verse. I am comitted to finishing it. I will try my best to not leave you hanging if you choose to follow this fic.
> 
> If you want to contact me you can do so on Twitter, or Reddit @KatyObsesses :)
> 
> Enjoy.

William McKinley High School in Lima, Ohio was the stereotypical all-american high school. It was like something out of a TV show or a movie. Cliques and groups dominated the cafeteria, the jocks walked around in letterman jackets, and the cheerleaders exclusively wore their uniforms.

Erin Bailey tried her best to fit in during her first few weeks. She attended her classes, kept quiet, her head hung low, her eyes trained to the ground. She made herself as invisible as possible. She purposefully stayed in the background and refused to play into the insane amount of drama that seemed to flood the halls of the school, even only a few weeks into the new school year.

She was glad she was a freshman. She wasn’t the only new kid, wasn’t the only kid in her year getting lost in the halls. If she kept quiet, made her voice sound vaguely midwestern, and only answered roll calls and whatever questions the teachers threw her way, her invisible act would stay in place. It was like one long acting gig and the school was her stage.

Kids who’d gone to Lima West middle school assumed she’d gone to North, and those who went to North assumed she’d gone to West.

In actuality, Erin had gone to a school much farther than any of them would guess, thousands of miles across the atlantic ocean in England. Her midwest twang was as fake as can be, under it hid the poshest English accent in the whole of Ohio - except for her brother's.

Her twin brother, Alexander Bailey, was, obviously, also roaming the halls of William McKinley High School. Except _he_ was deciding to stand out.

Xander had always been one of those kids on the outskirts of the popular group, not quite nerdy enough to be seen as uncool, but not popular enough to be seen as cool. This year he was one of the jocks in red, on the junior varsity football - _soccer_ \- team, and sat exclusively with other letterman wearing jocks. He’d never been into soccer back home, one of the few kids in the UK who didn’t care for the sport either way, but now he was voluntarily playing it.

Xander was _popular_ now _,_ while Erin was even less than a nobody. From what she’d seen the nobodies at McKinley High were drenched, daily, in brightly coloured Slushies. Bang on the dot during the 10am break a kid was doused with the freezing liquid and left there to sputter after their attacker - usually a large kid with a letterman jacket and a bad insult.

So, as even less than a nobody, Erin usually ate her lunch alone. She felt like a stereotype when she ate in a bathroom stall, and the library had a strict ‘no food’ policy, so usually she ate on the stairs of the courtyard, headphones over her ears and homework on her lap, alone. She’d have to find a new spot once it got to winter, she’d heard that winter in the midwest was even colder than in England.

\------

Erin had been gnawing on the end of her pen, trying to figure out an algebra question, and minding her own business when her spot was invaded.

She didn’t notice the kids at first, trying to figure out the simple equation. She didn’t even really notice the music until her feet had started tapping along to the beat, and she’d started absent-mindedly vocalising along with them. She’d forgotten her headphones that morning, only realising when she’d sat down on the bus, so she could hear them loud and clear.

She looked up to see a group of kids in the same t-shirts emblazoned with ‘NEW YORK CITY’ singing and dancing to a song she recognised from the radio. She couldn’t help it as she started singing along to the chorus. She sang quitely, at barely a whisper, but she could see some of the group eyeing her as she sang.

 _They must be the school’s choir, or something._ She thought as she leaned back on her elbows, feet tapping to the beat, and watched them perform their hearts out. She couldn’t remember there being a sign up sheet for a choir of any sort when she’d looked a few weeks ago, but then again she’d only quickly made note of the random mix of clubs on offer before getting intimidated by the long _long_ line of pretty girls in cheerleading outfits.

Not that she’d been planning to join a club, anyway. She just wanted to get through these four years ahead of her as quickly and quietly as possible before going back to the UK for Uni.

As she sang along quietly with the group she looked at the rest of her peers. They mostly ignored the group completely, acting as if they were invisible. Erin didn’t understand why at first, but then she’d looked closer at the group and recognised a few of them. The asian girl with blue streaks in her hair. The boy with the coiffed hair. The girl with the knee socks.

Those were the kids who got doused in slushies on the daily. The nobodies Erin was, thankfully, even less than.

She glanced around the courtyard again and found the Jocks. Instead of ignoring the group they seemed to be making fun of them, mocking and jeering.

Amid the sea of red was Xander, and Erin was surprised to see him looking in her direction, his face a picture of disappointment. Oh, yeah, she’d been singing along, was _still_ singing along.

And apparently it was obvious.

As she’d been observing her peers, a member of the group had been observing her, and as she turned back to the performance she met the eyes of a hispanic girl in a snapback. Erin startled, slightly embarrassed at being caught watching and singing along, but the girl simply smirked in her direction and winked.

Erin flushed and turned away. She was unused to being seen, here in Ohio, and the direct eye-contact and acknowledgement of her existence felt wrong, almost. Shaking her head she turned back to the group as they finished their impromptu performance, sitting in formation at the bottom of the steps.

Silence.

The group looked around with annoyance, confusion, or simple acceptance as the bell rang.

The girl in knee high socks stood with determination as the smiles of her friends fell from their faces.

“Thank you all for listening,” She said as though everyone had been, smoothing out her skirt, “And don’t forget to sign up for the McKinley High Show Choir - The New Directions - for a once in a lifetime chance of singing on a New York stage at Nationals!”

Her short speech was met with absolutely nothing as the school’s population collected their bags and made their way back into the school. The group on the staircase was completely ignored, some kids even walked right through them, causing the group to lean out of the way of backpacks and lunch trays.

Erin gathered her belongings quickly, but apparently not quickly enough for the group to miss her. They were all staring at her as she stood, the hispanic girl pointing straight at her.

She flushed, again, unused to being visible, and quickly made her way up the steps and into the school.

She couldn’t stop humming for the rest of the day.

\-----

“ _These streets will make you feel brand new, big lights will inspire you!_ ” Erin sang as she danced around her room. She couldn’t get her mind off of the New Directions, or the song out of her head. It wasn’t exactly her favourite type of music, but it was catchy… and it had been the first song she’d sung since… well, it had been the first song she’d sung for _months_.

“ _Let’s hear it for New York, New York, New York!_ ” She finished singing, a huge smile on her face and her lungs almost burning from overuse.

\------

The next morning, Erin stood in front of a gold star laden sign up sheet, pen poised over the paper but not quite touching it.

She’d be the first name on it. At least, assuming ‘ _Hugh Janus_ ’ ‘ _I.C Yadick_ ’ and ‘ _Semour Asscrack_ ’ weren’t actual students at McKinley High, and Erin had an inkling that they weren't.

Did she really want to sing again? After everything? Did she really want to join a club that was doused in slushies at least once a day? Did she want to step out of the shadows and be visible again?

She took a deep breath, remembered how her life felt when music used to fill every inch of it and compared it to how she felt now.

She pressed her pen to the paper and wrote in neat sure strokes.

_Erin Bailey_

There. She'd committed. Her name was down. Now she _had_ to turn up to the audition on Tuesday.

She just hoped she wouldn’t regret it.

\------

She spent most of the weekend and Monday trying to find a song. Her iTunes was a mess of genres. From Alt Rock and Pop Punk, to Top 40 and an abundance of Musical Theatre. Name a genre and Erin probably had at least one song that fit it.

She didn’t know much about Show Choir, other than the fact that singing and dancing was involved, and it was a competition against different schools. She hadn’t had anything even remotely like a Show Choir at her last school.

A quick Google search hadn’t really helped much in her decision making. According to the internet Show Choirs sang all sorts of songs. So she couldn’t even narrow her selection down to a genre. And perusing the Show Choir blogs on Tumblr and the official forums certainly didn’t help, mostly they were full of drama and gossip.

Even looking up the New Directions themselves was a waste of time, mostly all she found was blurry footage from last year’s Sectionals and Regionals performances - which was a mix of show tunes and Journey - a few videos of the girl in knee socks singing on Myspace - she was really really good, and obviously obsessed with Musical Theatre - and a handful of other videos, including one of the song _Run Joey Run_ and a recreation of Madonna's _Vogue_ with who looked to be the Cheerios coach, the boy with the coiffed hair and the black girl.

Really, the genres this choir sang were as numerous as her own iPod.

She suddenly wished she’d stuck around to talk to them instead of running off.

It took her a long time to find the perfect song, but by the time Tuesday after school had come around she was feeling confident in her choice.

\------

She dawdled outside the choir room, leaning up against the wall between the two entrances, and listened as Mr. Schuester, the Spanish teacher and Glee Club supervisor, talked to the New Directions. He sounded enthusiastic, upbeat.

No-one else was in the hallway, just Erin hiding from the stares she knew she’d be getting as soon as she walked through those doors and auditioned.

She wondered why she was here again. She wished her past self from a year ago would emerge and bring with them the courage she used to have. She was doing this for herself, the one she knew was buried under the layers of indifference she’d been hiding herself behind since…

She took a deep, steadying breath, Erin turned to face her reflection in the trophy case behind her. She took in her appearance, jeans, plain t-shirt, zip-up hoodie, and calf-high boots. Her armour of invisibility.

Erin looked… boring. Long, frizzy, ginger hair tied in two plaits, brown eyes, a turned up nose, freckles, and a too round face. She wasn’t exactly your typical beauty, she wasn’t anything special. Her brother had somehow managed to get all of the good genes out of their parents, dark almost black hair with piercing green eyes, while she was stuck with all the worst in combination.

Shaking her head to clear her self-deprecating train of thought Erin took another deep breath and forced her anxieties as far down as she could, burying them deep. She practiced her smile in the reflection of the trophy case, drawing on the years of Stage coaching her father had insisted she and her brother went through.

She could do this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from 'Fifteen' by Taylor Swift


	2. He'll Say To Me I See Who You Truly Are

Kurt Hummel was not expecting anyone to actually turn up and audition for Glee Club. They were the laughing stock of the school, after all, and anyone who joined would automatically become a loser in the eyes of their peers. Just look at everyone who was already a member. Three cheerleaders (and two ex-cheerleaders) and three footballers (and one ex-footballer) who used to all be at the top of McKinley’s food chain were now, while not as unpopular as, say, Rachel Berry, rather low on the societal ladder.

The only way they’d gain a new member is by recruiting people who’d never heard of them before, who had no ties with Lima, Ohio before this school year - exchange students, new kids. Even the freshmans had probably heard about how uncool the New Directions were.

There had been exactly three people who’d even acknowledged their performance last Thursday, well, if you didn’t count the jeering jocks and cheerleaders. A cute blond boy in a non-McKinley letterman jacket, a short filipino girl, and a ginger girl sitting alone while doing what looked like homework. They’d all either danced, mouthed, or sung along to _Empire State of Mind_ , and they were all completely new faces. Probably all completely new to Lima, Ohio and, thus, completely unaware of the rules surrounding acknowledgement of The New Directions. (Unless performing at an assembly of some kind, ignore them, unless you’re a jock, then you ridicule them.)

Kurt expected these three kids to figure that out well before today’s audition and simply not turn up. Though, looking at all the sign up sheets they’d placed around the school, there was at least one real name written down amongst the obvious fake ones.

Erin Bailey.

Lima, Ohio wasn’t the smallest of towns, but it definitely had a small town mentality in that everyone kind of knew everyone else. Kurt and his Dad probably knew the majority of people in Lima, being the only reputable mechanic in the town (which also meant that most of Lima knew them, though, honestly, that was probably because Kurt was the only out and proud gay kid in the whole, largely homophobic, town - well, except for those two boys at South Lima High near to Fort Shawnee, but really that story just proved how homophobic Lima was.)

Kurt had never heard of Erin Bailey. The name had felt familiar, for some reason, but he wasn’t entirely sure _why_. The only Bailey’s in Lima he knew of were the elderly couple who lived out near Cook Park and always glared at Kurt if he was at the shop while they were picking up their ancient pick-up truck. As far as he knew they didn’t have any other relatives in the area though, but if this person was related to them he hoped, if they did decide to join Glee, they wasn’t as overtly homophobic as their grandparents.

Kurt was still almost 100% sure they weren’t going to turn up, though. It was much more likely that, after they had written down their name, they had realized just how unpopular the group was and decided not to turn up at all.

“We should have at least three people turning up to audition today!” Mr. Schue was saying enthusiastically at the front of the choir room. He was bouncing on the balls of his feet, obviously oblivious to the fact that everyone else was only there because they had to be, not because they were expecting people to actually audition. Well, except Finn, he kept going on about how his ‘buddy Sam’ was going to turn up. Kurt fully doubted that, what rational teen would choose to join the most ridiculed club at their high school.

“So I want you all to be on your best behaviours and welcome anyone who wishes to join with open arms. I know that for all of us this club is like a family, and it may be difficult to let another member join, but we need to replace Matt if we want to perform at sectionals.” Mr. Schue continued.

As Mr. Schue kept rambling, a short girl appeared in the door of the choir room. She was dressed like most every other person at McKinley, Kurt noticed. Straight leg, mid rise, jeans, a cheap looking emerald green zip-up hoodie, and black calf length slouchy boots. Her backpack was hanging from one shoulder and a plain muted army green, unadorned by anything. In fact the girl, herself, was completely unadorned by anything, no badges, no jewellery, no accessories, just her uninspired outfit and a couple of green hair clips keeping her frizzy ginger hair out of her round face. At least she had a coherent colour story.

She looked as though she was an extra in a high school TV show, told to dress as inoffensive and boring as possible less she detract from the main cast of the show (though she actually looked like she was an appropriate age for a highschooler, probably no older than 15 - though she looked as though she could have been anywhere between the ages of 13 and 24.) and she gave off this air of nervousness and uncertainty, a dull aura that seemed to say _please don’t look at me_.

“Um, hi.” She said as she noticed the stares of the New Directions. Her accent confused Kurt, it was a weird mix of Midwestern and… British? She cleared her throat and started again.

“Hi, is this the audition for the New Directions?” Her accent lost the midwestern twang, reminding Kurt, somewhat, of Kate Middleton. Clear and almost musical, posh and stereotypically British.

The way she said _New Directions_ , fast with nerves, her accent colouring her words, made it sound, well, kind of dirty. _Nude Erections._ Kurt could hear Puck fighting off giggles behind him, as though he’d missed the vulgar insults Karofsky and Azimio often threw their way.

“You’re the girl who was singing along at lunch last week.” Santana said, and Kurt realised at that moment that this was the ginger girl who’d been sitting on the steps doing her homework.

“Um, yeah, you guys were really good.” The girl replied, smiling at the group. Her smile didn’t quite make it to her eyes, which still held a look of nervousness, but Kurt could tell that this girl was a good actress and that many of his friends, except maybe Rachel, wouldn’t notice the nervous aura the girl was radiating.

“Come on in!” Mr. Schuester enthused with a clap and she stepped through the doorway, “Welcome…” He trailed off, waiting for the girl to introduce herself.

“Erin Bailey.” She introduced, “I’m a freshman.”

So _this_ was the only person who’d actually signed up for the auditions with their real name. That explained it, she obviously had _no clue_ just how unpopular they were. She was new, not only to the school - and not even only to Lima, it seemed - but to America as a whole. Of course the only kid willing to join their group of misfits was from another country entirely.

“Well, Erin, welcome to the New Directions!” Mr. Schuester said and Erin’s face filled with confusion as she fiddled with the strap of her backpack, standing at the front of the choir room.

“Um, don’t I have to sing? You know, audition?” She asked, a hint of sarcasm in her voice. Kurt laughed along with the rest of the New Directions as Mr. Schuester sputtered slightly. Of course, regardless of the girl’s abilities, she was in - they were desperate, after all - but it was nice to see that she was _willing_ to audition, that probably meant she was at least somewhat musically inclined, able to hold a tune.

“Of course, of course.” Mr. Schue said and Erin nodded, making her way, with surprising confidence, towards Brad. She actually handed him sheet music from a plastic wallet she produced from her backpack, and took a second to talk to him, assumedly about the tempo or key. She seemed to be well versed in auditions and Kurt wondered what she was going to sing as she made her way to the centre front of the room, seeming to steady herself with a deep breath as she placed her bag by her feet.

The opening chords of _What it Means To Be a Friend_ from _13: The Musical_ surprised Kurt. He wasn’t sure _what_ he’d been expecting Erin to sing, but only he and Rachel, as far as he knew, had auditioned with a show tune. _13_ was only a couple of years old, and as far as he knew, had yet to transfer to the West End. Obviously Erin was a fan of musical theatre, and not just a casual one either.

“ _A friend's not a cheap little phony creep  
Or a jerk trying to make a deal  
A friend is a person who, most of all  
Cares about what you feel  
And nothing is harder  
Than learning a friend isn't real_” She sang softly, only a little shaky with nerves.

Her voice was full of emotion, seeming to completely understand the lyrics she was singing and the role she was embodying.

“ _A friend sends notes back and forth all day  
And doesn't care that you can't spell  
A friend knows you've got a crush on your teacher  
But a friend would never tell  
A friend's outside waiting  
The minute you both hear the bell_.”

As the song neared it’s chorus her voice strengthened, the last of her nerves seeming to fall away as she performed. She seemed to be maybe a Mezzo-Soprano, possibly Soprano, her voice high and lilting and able to reach the highest notes without faltering. Either she was a natural or she had some level of vocal training.

“ _And if your heart is always breaking  
Cause the world is just not fair  
When you're at your worst  
Your friend is on your side_

 _If someone moves in 'round the corner  
And you want to show him you care  
So you give him all your last month of vacation  
And all of the time you can spare  
But then, on the first day of classes  
He acts like you're not even there  
Then he doesn't know  
He doesn't know!  
He'll never know what it means  
To be a friend_”

She finished there, the song shortened for an audition. The first chorus replaced with the last chorus and final verse seamlessly. Kurt wondered if she’d arranged the music herself.

Her eyes had fallen shut as she performed, seeming to get lost in the music, the story she was singing, and she opened them as the final notes fell and the New Directions sat in silence for half a beat.

She was good, really good, maybe even as good as Rachel, or himself. She clearly understood music and musical theatre. She seemed to have some stage training too, she had projected her voice well, had portrayed the part the song was written for, and had only faltered near the beginning, most likely due to nerves. But she’d carried on, pushed though until her nerves had evaporated, leaving only the joy of performing in their place.

A large grin lit up her face, and suddenly she looked like a main character instead of an extra despite her overall aesthetic. Her eyes seemed brighter, her shoulders less hunched, the _please don’t look at me_ aura completely gone.

The New Directions burst into cheers and applause, Kurt one of the first to do so. But Rachel was one of the last, her face looking almost murderous, jealous, as she appraised Erin.

Erin’s true, large, and gleeful grin faltered, just slightly, becoming an act, as Rachel hopped to her feet, smoothed down her hideous blue dress, and held out a hand.

“Welcome to New Directions, Erin Bailey.” Rachel said, her voice sickly sweet, and her own smile _obviously_ fake. For such a good actress on stage, Rachel wasn’t the best actress off-stage.

“Thank you.” Erin said as she took her hand, timidly, and shook it.

“I’m Rachel Berry, Co-Captain of the New Directions, future Broadway star, and _lead female soloist_.” Rachel stressed the final words, letting them hang in the space between her and Erin and Kurt rolled his eyes. Rachel was obviously threatened by this girl, and really Kurt couldn’t blame her.

“Nice to meet you.” Erin replied with a genuine smile, and a tone that reminded Kurt of someone trying to calm a territorial animal. Rachel assessed her for a while, practically staring into Erin’s soul, before she nodded, smiled, and let go of her hand. Kurt knew that smile, Rachel had once used that smile on him, when he’d thrown their Diva off. It meant she now knew the other person was no longer a threat.

Rachel, however, paused for a second as she let go off Erin’s hand, head tilted to the side in thought as she took Erin in again.

“Bailey…” She said slowly, as if testing the name on her tongue, trying to figure out what it seemed so familiar. Kurt saw the moment of recognition in Rachel’s face as she continued.

“Any relation to Ciaran Bailey? The West End Actor?” She asked and Kurt’s heart stuttered as Erin sucked in a shocked breath, barely noticeable, at the actor’s name.

Kurt had, of course, heard of Ciaran Bailey. He’d been the third Wizard in _Wicked_ on the West End, and Kurt, like all major _Wicked_ fans, kept up with the various casts of the show. He’d seen bootlegs of his performance, watched shaky youtube videos of him singing at various venues, and, most notably, had seen the article from last May.

_Ciaran Bailey, West End Actor, Passes Away At 59 After A Lengthy Battle With Lung Cancer._

Kurt remembered, as he watched Erin stand frozen in shocked silence, that the article had said that he’d been ‘ _survived by his half-sister, West End Actress, Aoibhe McLoughlin, 30, and brother, Tony Bailey, 55, as well as his wife, Rose Bailey, 48, and two children, Catherine and Alexander Bailey, 14.’_

Bailey was a relatively common last name, especially, probably in the UK and Ireland, but by the look on Erin’s face Kurt would bet a lot of money that her full name was actually Catherine. Kurt kind of wanted to strangle Rachel for bringing it up and wiping the gleeful smile completely from Erin’s face.

Kurt, of course, knew exactly how hard it was to lose a parent, especially after a long battle with cancer. He, himself, had taken his mother’s illness, and subsequent passing, so hard that he’d had to repeat 3rd grade. It had only been just over 3 months since Ciaran Bailey had passed, he could imagine just how fragile Erin was.

“He played the role of the Wizard in Wicked on the West End, didn’t he?” Rachel continued as she took her silence as confirmation and Kurt could feel his stomach fall as he realised Rachel had no idea about the actor’s passing.

“Yeah…” Erin replied, looking ready to bolt, or cry, or something, before a mask of indifference graced her face, “He did.”

“What are you doing in Ohio then?” Rachel asked, head tilted to the side with confusion. “It’s too far for him to commute to New York if he’s on Broadway now or something.”

“My mum’s from Ohio.” Erin said simply, clearly wanting the conversation to be over. “My grandparents live out near Ada.”

She paused for a beat, before continuing in a soft voice.

“My dad didn’t move with us.”

Well, it wasn’t a _lie_ , Kurt thought, just an omission of the truth. But of course Erin wouldn’t want to talk about it, especially in front of a bunch of strangers. Rachel seemed to be satisfied by the answer, however, and smiled before sitting back down next to Finn. She looked excited now, rather than murderous, at the prospect of having another Theatre Kid in the group, especially one with familial ties to an _actual_ West End Actor.

Erin stared at the spot Rachel vacated, before she blinked herself out of her stupor and turned with a deep breath to look at the group, scanning the risers for a spare seat. Kurt shot her his friendliest smile as he took his messenger bag off of the seat on his left, offering it to her without words. She shot him a grateful smile that only just reached her eyes as she approached him.

“I’m Kurt,” He introduced himself as Erin sat down.

“Erin,” She replied before rolling her eyes at herself and letting out a self-deprecating laugh, “But, uh, you already knew that…” She trailed off, awkward.

Kurt tried to keep his smile friendly if sympathetic.

“Your audition was really good.” He told her, “ _13_ is an underrated musical and _What it Means to be a Friend_ is a really relatable ballad.”

Erin smiled shyly back at him and nodded her agreement, eyes lighting up.

“I agree.” She said, “I was stuck between that or, um, _The Wizard and I_ , to be honest, but went with _What it Means To Be A Friend_ in the end.” She shrugged, “I wasn’t really sure what to sing. I mean, you guys sung that Jay Z and Alicia Keys song on Thursday but when I looked up Show Choir it said that a lot of genres are used, some groups even sing Acapella at competitions, and then I tried to find videos of you guys performing, and there wasn’t a _lot_ , but it seemed like you do everything from Pop to Show Tunes and a surprising amount of _Journey_ …”

Erin trailed off as she seemed to realise she was rambling.

“Yeah, we kind of do a bit of everything.” Kurt replied with a laugh, trying to keep her from getting too in her head, “Though Mr. Schue and Finn,” - he pointed to the back of Finn’s head - “our other co-captain, love Classic Rock, _Journey_ in particular, and Rachel, obviously, is a Musical Theatre fan.”

“I was surprised she knew my dad.” Erin confessed, eyes darting to the back of Rachel’s head. “I wasn’t expecting someone in the middle of Ohio to have heard of him.”

“Rachel and I are McKinley’s resident Theatre Kids. Kind of McKinley’s _only_ Theatre Kids, really.” Kurt told her, “And we’re both _huge_ fans of Wicked, so, of course, we keep up with the various casts. I’ve seen videos of your dad performing. He was really good.”

“Yeah, he is.” Erin replied, present tense, before she seemed to realise exactly what he’d said and turned to look at him.

“I’m sorry about your dad.” Kurt said quietly, barely audible over the chatter surrounding them. “And I’m sorry Rachel brought him up.”

Erin swallowed heavily and her eyes darted away from his, focusing on the whiteboard at the front of the room that read _AUDITIONS!_

“It’s okay,” She said with a shrug, obviously not willing to talk about it. Kurt let the subject drop.

“So, what’s your favourite musical, other than _13_ and _Wicked_?” He asked instead of the _are you okay?_ that was floating around his head.

Slowly Erin was introduced to the rest of the group and seemed to fit in fairly well despite seeming to be a quiet and shy person. She spent a good chunk of the next couple of hours chatting about some vampire book - not _Twilight_ \- with Tina, as Kurt himself gossiped with Mercedes.

As the Mercedes well of gossip depleted Kurt noticed Erin glancing towards Rachel who was looking at her as though trying to figure out a puzzle.

“We’re all a bit weary of newcomers,” He explained, and Erin turned to look at him, “There was this whole situation last year with a spy from our rival show choir and Rachel… well, she’s a bit of a Diva.” Mercedes laughed in agreement as Kurt smiled at Erin.

“And I suspect he's intimidated by you.” He finished, because Rachel would definitely be intimidated by a, probable, fellow Mezzo-Soprano with, probable, vocal and stage training and, definite, ties to the actual Professional Theatre World.

He smiled as Erin scoffed self-deprecatingly and rolled her eyes.

“Seriously, you’re _good_ , Erin.” He complimented and Tina and Mercedes voiced their agreement while Erin’s freckled face flushed and she sputtered out a _thank you_.

As it got closer and closer to 5pm the New Directions quietened, staring at the clock as the hands ticked by.

“Well,” Rachel said, standing and making her way to the front of the room, “Hate to break it to you, but it doesn’t look like anyone else is going to be joining us. So I think we should call it a day.”

“We said 3 to 5, it’s only 4:58.” Mr. Schue reminded them as everyone started to leave.

“Um, if anyone else was going to audition, they wouldn’t wait until two minutes until the end.” Erin pointed out, in a fairly quiet voice as she made her way towards the exit of the choir room.

“Just wait, guys! My buddy Sam’s going to try out, he totally idolises me!” Finn said, staying where he was by the piano.

“Face it, Finn. You’re no longer the quarterback.” Kurt said with an eye-roll, walking backwards out of the choir room, “You’re not the pied-piper anymore. No-one’s going to follow you around thinking everything you do is cool.”

With that quip he rushed to catch up with Erin and met her just as she exited the school.

“You need a lift home? As a freshman you probably take the bus.” He asked, spontaneously, as he fell into step with her. She turned to look at him with a look of surprise and he shot her yet another friendly smile. He was smiling fairly often today, it seemed.

She smiled back and nodded.

“Yes, thank you.” She said, ducking her head and playing with the straps of her backpack in sudden shyness, “If it’s not too far out of your way.”

“Unless you still live back in England I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Kurt joked with a laugh as they stopped next to his baby.

He unlocked the car and opened the passenger side door for her. She startled a bit, before flushing slightly and thanking him as she hopped into the Navigator. He quickly made his way to the driver’s seat and settled in.

“So, where am I taking you?” He asked.

“413 Whitman Avenue?” She said in question and he nodded in recognition.

“I drive through Whitman every morning.” Kurt said as he started the car. “We could carpool in the mornings, if you want?”

He wasn’t entirely sure _why_ he was offering, but she was a member of the New Directions, and if any of the others needed a lift into school he would take them, so why not extend the offer to their newest member. Besides, she seemed nice, if quiet compared to the majority of his friends, she was a fellow Theatre Kid, which was hard to come by at McKinley, and he really did drive through Whitman every morning.

“Why?” She asked. She sounded suspicious, like she’d trusted and been hurt before. Kurt knew that feeling. In fact, in that moment, he realised why he was so drawn to her as a person. She kind of reminded him of himself as a freshman. Quiet, scared to make friends, but underneath it all a secret Diva with dreams of Broadway and Stardom - at least, Kurt assumed she was a secret Diva with dreams of Broadway and Stardom.

“If you want to take the bus with the rest of the McKinley population not yet old enough to drive, that’s your prerogative. But I pass by your house every morning, and you’re a New Direction now, we look out for each other. I like to think I could be your friend.” He paused, turning to look at her profile.

“Look, I know what it’s like to lose a parent. My mom died when I was eight.” He said, no longer skirting around the subject, “I saw the article about your dad, and I think you probably need a friend right now. It can’t be easy to uproot your life after something like that.”

Erin glanced at him out the corner of her eye but didn’t make eye contact before staring back at the school again.

“But we barely know each other.” Erin said, not really acknowledging what Kurt had said. Kurt let her.

“ _I’m not a cheap little phony creep, or a jerk trying to make a deal._ ” He half-sang with a friendly smile. “Seriously. Just take the offer, I know from experience how gross the school bus is.” He shuddered to make his point.

A beat of silence as Erin seemed to mull over his offer, before she ducked her head with a small smile.

“Okay.” She accepted, nodding to herself, before taking a steadying breath and looking at him full on.

“But only because your car doesn’t smell like a boys locker room, or have people throwing food.”

The dry humor in her voice startled a laugh from Kurt and he finally started the car as her smile made its way to her eyes once again.

They drove in comfortable silence for a few minutes. Erin was staring through the window as they drove up North Jackson before turning left onto North. Kurt absetly hummed along to _Poker Face_ as it played over the radio.

“How are you liking Ohio so far?” He asked conversationally as the song switched over to the radio presenter.

“It’s weird.” She replied instantly. “It’s so different here than where I used to live.”

“Where’d you used to live? London?” Kurt asked, intrigued. He’d always wanted to visit the city, after New York, of course, and the small southern french town his mother had grown up in.

“No,” Erin said, “Just outside of it though. My dad thinks London isn’t the best place to raise kids, or whatever. He wanted my brother and I to grow up somewhere more suburban. So he and Mum moved to Woking, Surrey, it’s like, half an hour, three quarters of an hour, into London on the train, so it’s an easy commute into Waterloo.”

Kurt picked up on the use of present tense but didn’t bring it up, letting Erin continue.

“We lived in a little village outside of the town centre which is basically just one road of houses with a few cul-de-sacs branching off of it.”

“I can imagine Lima’s kind of different from a quaint English village, huh?”

“Mhmm.” Erin hummed in agreement “Everything’s _really_ different here.”

“Culture shock?” Kurt asked, turning to look at her briefly.

Erin nodded.

“Yeah. But my mum needed to get away, so I guess I understand why we’re here.” She said softly with a shrug. “Especially since my grandparents aren’t too far away.”

“You said they were out near Ada?” Kurt asked.

“Yeah, in this really old Victorian house, with a _literal barn_ in their garden.” Erin said with a laugh, “Though they rent it out for events like weddings, and don’t have any farm animals, only a couple of dogs.”

“So what’s Surrey like? All I know about it is from _The Holiday_ and _Harry Potter_.” Kurt commented as they passed by St. Rita’s, the Hospital Carole worked at. Erin scoffed out a laugh.

“My town is probably a bit more _Private Drive_ than _The Holiday_ , though it was actually filmed in Surrey though, a village in Guildford, while the set of _Privet Drive_ is based off of houses in Berkshire, which is a bit more north. Also Little Whinging doesn’t exist, trust me, I’ve tried to find it.” Erin laughed before pausing, staring out the window as they turned onto a residential street, “We lived in this Victorian two up two down semi-detached house that used to be a coal merchants, but a lot of the houses around us are 60s and 70s builds. There’s a fish and chip shop, a village hall, a newsagents, and a laundromat. Oh, and a train station, like, right outside of our house. It’s weird that America doesn’t use trains that much.”

“I’ve always wanted to go to the UK.” Kurt said as silence stretched, “Well, London was all I really thought about, it would be cool to see a West End show. I’m going to go to New York and Broadway first though, obviously.”

“Naturally.” Erin agreed, “I’ve always wanted to go to New York. My dad’s gone a few times and he always talks about how much he loved the atmosphere, my Aunt too.”

“I’m so excited to go for Nationals.” Kurt said, not even thinking about the fact that they may not even qualify. “I’ve barely been outside of Ohio.”

“Really?” Erin asked, sounding surprised. Kurt wasn’t entirely sure what it was like in the UK, but he did know it was surprisingly simple to travel, especially into Europe. But the US was different, Ohio was basically the size of England and Americans had the rest of the states to explore. Most Americans didn’t even own a passport. Kurt only did because he also had French citizenship and, so, his _grands-parents_ had arranged for him to have a French passport.

“Nope.” Kurt replied with a shrug, “My mom’s parents live in France but I’ve never visited. The furthest from Lima I’ve been is Chicago.”

They continued chatting for the rest of the journey, Kurt occasionally pointing out Lima Landmarks - his favourite thrift store, Hummel’s Tires and Lube, the street that led to Breadstix.

The conversation flowed easily, which surprised Kurt. Sure, he had friends, and, sure, he could have conversations with people, but deep down he was very much an introvert. Socialsing drained him. He appreciated the quiet drive home everyday, the few hours he got to himself while his dad finished up at the shop, to recharge and relax.

But talking to Erin wasn’t draining. If the conversation paused, the silence wasn’t uncomfortable like it could be with Mercedes, or Rachel, or a majority of the New Directions who seemed to need conversation and human interaction to survive. He really only had that feeling with his dad, and even then only in the last year or so - after coming out and being less afraid of what his dad thought of him.

Hanging out with Erin was just… easy. As he backed out of her driveway, after inputting his and the New Directions numbers into her phone and adding her to the group chats, he felt almost as recharged as he usually did after his drive home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from 'The Wizard And I' from Wicked


	3. I Will Not Fail So You Can Be Comfortable

Erin smiled as she fell back onto her bed, her phone held protectively in her fist. She now had 11 new numbers in her new phone, more than doubling what she’d previously had (her brother's, mother’s, and grandparents’).

Kurt had happily added her to the group text chat, and promptly entered all of the New Directions’ numbers, before he’d promised to pick her up the next morning to drive her to school.

Erin couldn’t remember ever having a friend like Kurt Hummel, one that actually listened to her when she spoke, one that offered her things without, seemingly, to expect anything back. Her friends back home had mostly been ones of convenience - a group of girls who didn’t fit in anywhere else and had all sat at the same table in the lunch hall on the first day of secondary school. She had a couple she’d been closer with - one girl, Georgina, who liked musicals and theatre, another, Katie, who shared her love of Harry Potter and reading in general - but all in all she had been on the outskirts of the group, and thus on the outskirts of the school. She was rarely invited to people’s houses to hang out, rarely asked to see a movie, rarely texted after school. She was bullied mercilessly by her peers for no reason other than being an easy target, seemingly different.

And, because kids are cruel, the bullying only became worse when her dad was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer, and then even worse when, in May 2010, he’d passed away.

During that time Erin had been slowly pushed out of her group of friends, until she somehow found herself at the end of the lunch table, her so-called ‘friends’ ignoring her existence.

Sure, she hadn’t been the most fun to be around at the time, quieter, sadder, less enthusiastic, but she still couldn’t understand how _none_ of them stuck by her. _She_ would have done had the roles been reversed.

Erin shook the memories away and picked up the picture on her bedside table - her dad in his Wizard costume, arms around her and Xander’s shoulders as they stood on the West End stage.

She was doing this for him.

Her door slammed open.

“What the _fuck_ , Erin?” Xander’s voice boomed around her room and she fumbled with the picture, almost dropping it on the floor. She glanced up at her brother’s silhouette in her doorway. She blinked and his features came into focus. His eyes, green like their father’s, were filled with anger and something like betrayal. The anger also twisted his face, his mouth turned in a sneer, eyebrows knitted together. He looked so unlike the Xander she’d grown up with that she couldn’t help but flinch.

“Why’d you have to join the _Glee Club_?” He spat, crossing his arms across his chest. He made _Glee Club_ sound like a slur, he made it sound ugly.

Erin pushed the unwanted fear in her chest down as far as she could and plastered on a mask of indifference.

“Because I wanted to, _Alex_.” She told him with emphasis on the name he now went by, the name of the arsehole jock he was becoming. She waited for his angry facade to crack even slightly. She obviously placed the picture still in her hand back on her bedside table, turning it to face outwards, drawing attention to it. She wanted Xander to remember that he wasn’t this bully, that this person wasn’t who he’d always been. She glanced at the picture, her dad’s smiling face giving her the courage she needed.

“I missed singing.”

She looked back at Xander just as he looked away from the picture and schooled his expression back into anger. For a split second he had had a look of anguish and grief on his face.

“Don’t you understand how _uncool_ the Glee club is?” He asked, almost pleadingly, “Don’t you understand that you’ll be even more of a loser than you already are?”

“If ‘cool’ means being like those meathead jocks you hang out with, or the superficial cheerleaders, then no thanks. I’d rather have friends I actually like, and who like me back. I have no interest in being ‘cool’.”

“You do know, if you join those nerds, it’ll reflect back on me.” Xander said, his mask faltering slightly. He looked almost vulnerable.

“I don’t care,” Erin told Xander simply, trying her best to look apologetic about the fact. “I can’t make myself unhappy just so you can be cool. Singing makes me _happy,_ Xander _._ ” She said emphatically, trying to get under his skin. “It used to make you happy too, once.”

His mask faltered for half a second and he looked almost vulnerable, before he schooled his features into a sneer.

“Fine, be a loser! See if I care when you get slushied.” Xander said through gritted teeth, eyes flashing with anger and vulnerability, before he turned on his heel, slamming the door closed as he left.

Erin simply sighed, hoping her brother would be himself again soon.

_Rachel is INSANE -TCC  
whats new? - PUCK  
ain’t she always? - MJ  
ot THIS insane - MC_

Her phone kept vibrating the next morning, text after text coming in as she got ready for her day. Erin was unused to being in any type of group chat so the constant notifications steadily got more and more annoying.

Her mum had already left for work, and Xander was purposefully ignoring her as they ate breakfast.

_She literally sent a potential new member to a CRACK HOUSE - TCC  
What!????? - MJ  
dude wtf? - PUCK_

“What the fuck?” Erin couldn’t help but say as she read the texts. Xander glanced in her direction, a look of intrigue on his face, before he seemed to remember himself and went back to ignoring her. Erin picked up her phone and began typing.

_You guys are joking right? - EB_

_hey new kid! - PUCK  
No joke - TCC  
A LITERAL. CRACK. HOUSE - TCC  
LOL watch your back freshman - PUCK  
It’s too early for this, wtf. - AA_

Erin blinked down at her phone in complete confusion, almost 100% certain she was still dreaming, or at the very least getting pranked.

_Are you guys hazing me or something, because this isn’t actually funny. - EB_

_Hey Erin, nope, this seems in the realm of possibilities for Rachel! - KEH  
Tina, was it the one next to Between The Sheets that was busted a few weeks ago? - KEH  
YEP! -TCC_

“I’m still dreaming.” Erin decided, speaking out loud.

“What the fuck?” Xander responded, unable to ignore her anymore.

“Apparently the lead soloist of the glee club sent a potential new member to a crack house instead of the audition, so I am definitely still dreaming… or getting punked.” Erin told him, waving her phone in the air, she still honestly couldn’t believe it.

“I think that’s a point in favour of you _not_ joining Glee Club.” Xander pointed out, gesturing with his spoon, “Obviously she’s certifiably insane.”

Her phone was still blowing up.

“Come on, the bus is gonna be here soon.” Xander said, surprisingly civil, putting his cereal bowl in the sink and shouldering his backpack. Erin waved him off.

“Kurt’s picking me up.” She told him, glancing back at her phone. Maybe if she simply didn’t rise to the bait they’d stop pranking her.

“The poofter?” Xander asked, eyebrows raised.

“The hell, Xander?” Erin replied, shocked at his use of a slur, “You don’t even know if he’s gay. Just because he dresses flamboyantly doesn’t mean he’s _gay_. You know that, we fucking grew up surrounded by _theatre_!”

“He’s like, _so_ gay.” Xander scoffed, rolling his eyes, “Came out last year or something, I don’t know. But I mean, just look at him, if _he’s_ straight so is Elton John.”

Erin decided to ignore him as well as her vibrating phone, angrily shovelling cereal into her mouth. After a few seconds of waiting, he turned on his heel and left, slamming the front door in the process.

Her phone kept vibrating, almost falling off the kitchen island. Glancing at it she saw it was a phone call and not the mass of texts she had assumed.

“Hi Kurt.” She said as she answered.

“Hey, I’m outside.” Kurt greeted, cheerfully. “Also your brother looks _angry_.”

“Oh, don’t mind him.” Erin said, rolling her eyes as she shoved her boots on and shouldered her backpack. “Apparently he’s been body-swapped with a homophobic arsehole jock.”

She glanced around to make sure she had everything before opening the front door.

She waved at Kurt and he shot her a smile back.

“Well, high-school’s the best time to reinvent yourself!” Kurt enthused sarcastically, glaring out the window as Xander hopped onto the school bus that pulled up. Erin still found it weird that american schools had their own busses that basically stopped at every student's house. Back home they had to wait for an ordinary bus at the closest bus stop that would also allow non-student passengers on (though the rest of the population tended to avoid the stink-trap, knowing it would be packed like sardines with BO riddled teens at 7:45 in the morning.)

Erin rolled her eyes dramatically as she opened the door to Kurt’s car and hopped in, ending their call and shoving her phone in her pocket.

“Yeah, well he’s changing into an _arse_.” Erin complained with a yawn. “So… please tell me those texts were some weird hazing ritual and Rachel didn’t _actually_ send someone to a crack house.”

“Well,” Kurt started, as he drove out of her driveway, “According to Mike and Tina the Asian community in Lima is close, and the girl in question was Filipino, so they found out last night. I’d say they’re credible, but if it’s true it is definitely the craziest thing Rachel has ever done.”

Erin looked at him as if _he_ was crazy.

“Right.” Erin said sarcastically.

“You’ll be _fine,_ ” He assured her, laughing slightly at her look of terror.

“I mean, it clears up why she was looking at me like she wanted to _murder_ me after I auditioned.” Erin said, laughing nervously.

“Rachel’s a Diva, she wants the spotlight on herself at all times. If she went to such extremes to get this girl not to audition she must have been _good_.” Kurt said, “Though I think she forgot that we need 12 people to actually compete.”

* * *

“Tell me this isn’t _true_ , Rachel.” Mr Schue said, sounding angrier than Rachel had ever heard him.

“She could have _died_.” Tina stressed.

She knew why she was here, of course she did, but she was doing what was best for the team. And anyways, she didn’t send her to an _active_ crack house! The abandoned building besides Beneath the Sheets had been raided a few weeks ago, but when she tried to explain that to Mr. Schue, Tina, and Mike all she got were looks of disdain.

“Besides, how did you guys find out anyways?” She continued.

“The Asian community in Lima’s pretty tight.” Mike explained, hands in his pockets with a look of disappointment. In fact, all three of them were looking at her in disappointment now. Couldn’t they see she was doing this for them? She sat on her hands and tried to look as sorry as possible.

“I just don’t get it, you’re better than this!” Mr. Schue said.

“No, she’s an ambitious little freak who will do anything to hold her power!” Tina burst out. Rachel sputtered slightly at that. Tina was usually so quiet, so meek and non confrontational. Obviously this new relationship with Mike wasn’t good for her, Rachel much preferred her when she was the stuttering girl pushing Artie around the school.

“I just- I love you guys so much!” Rachel pressed, couldn’t they see that? She stood dramatically so she could be close to eye to eye with them. “I was wrong, before, I don’t want any new members! I don’t want anyone coming in and messing up our group dynamics! That Erin girl already has Kurt wrapped around her little finger! He never gives people a ride to school-”

“-he literally drove Mercedes and I to school most mornings last year-” Tina interrupted, but Rachel decided to ignore her.

“-and he’s obviously only doing it to get on her good side so he has an in with her Dad for when he eventually makes it to Broadway. He was the Wizard in Wicked! He probably has all sorts of contacts! And this Sunshine girl! Tina, Mike-” She looked at each of them in turn “- what if Sunshine can dance!? Then your contributions to Glee will be even more insignificant than they already are now. I did this for you guys.”

Didn’t they understand the severity of what was happening? The very foundations of the Glee club were being shaken, if they didn’t act now they would break and fracture and eventually the Glee club would fall. Didn’t they want the Glee club to stay as it was? They were a family, a dysfunctional one, sure, but a family all the same. Adding new people to a group always ended badly!

Sure, that Erin girl and Sunshine could both really sing, and they definitely needed a new member to even qualify for Sectionals, but they could just… get JBI to stand on stage like they’d planned last year before Finn finally realised the error of his ways and came to their rescue. Sure, Jacob was a lecherous little slug, but he wasn’t a new variable. They knew what to expect from him. All Rachel would have to do was give him a signed autograph or something and they’d be fine! Couldn’t they see that Sunshine could be a loose cannon, that Erin could usurp Rachel, that any new person could drastically change the dynamics they’d all gotten used to?

She looked up from the floor, to find all three of them with their arms crossed over their chests, Tina and Mike glaring at her.

“Whatever your motivations, you need to make this right, Rachel.” Mr. Schue said as he uncrossed his arms and walked closer to her so he could easily look down at her.

Rachel felt herself deflate as her emotions dissipated. Mr. Schue was right, she needed to patch things over with Sunshine. She was just so scared of the dynamics within Glee changing, they’d left last year on a good note, even after failing to make it to Nationals.

But everything was already changing, wasn’t it?

Tina had broken up with Artie and started dating Mike. Quinn had re-joined the Cheerios and fought with Santana. The dynamic had already started shifting before Erin had auditioned, and had shifted even more once she’d opened her mouth and started signing.

This year wasn’t going to be exactly like the year before.

Rachel nodded.

\------

She spotted Sunshine walking down the halls after second period and rushed to catch up with her.

“I’m sorry for sending you to that crack house.” She said quickly as she caught up to the shorter girl.

“They stole my sheet music and used it for toilet paper.” Sunshine said as she turned to face Rachel.

Rachel blinked in confusion, it was supposed to be an empty building. Sunshine wasn’t supposed to have come in contact with anyone except maybe the owner of Between the Sheets next door.

Sunshine rolled her eyes and turned to walk away.

“Look, I’ll buy you a new set.” Rachel said, and Sunshine turned back around with a sigh.

“Just, um, come pick it up at the auditorium at 4 o’clock tomorrow.” She concluded, pushing as much regret into her voice as she could. Sunshine stared at her for a second before her mouth quirked into the smallest of smiles and she nodded.

Rachel smile self-deprecatingly back at her and hurried off to her next class.

However much Rachel didn’t want Glee to change from what it managed to become the previous year, she knew it would have to. She did. Honestly. She wasn’t so delusional to think things would always stay the same, however much she wished they would. She was scared of change, but ultimately change was good, wasn’t it? If things stayed stagnant she would never leave Lima and become a Star.

If getting Sunshine to join Glee strengthened her - _their_ \- chance at getting to Nationals and singing on a stage in _New York City_ then wouldn’t it be worth it?

That’s what she told everyone at Glee that afternoon, anyway, and if she still felt a little scared then she buried it deep.

She was the star of Glee and that was the one dynamic that would never- could never- change.

She was Glee’s star, even if Sunshine shined like one.

* * *

The auditorium was _awesome_ , Erin thought as they entered it on Thursday afternoon.

Rachel had apparently apologised to the girl she’d sent to a _non-active_ crack house, and had told everyone at yesterday's rehearsal that she would be auditioning on Thursday in the Auditorium.

Erin’s first ever Glee Club meeting on Wednesday wasn’t all that different to when she was sitting around waiting with the other members of the New Directions for auditionees to show up. It was a lot of Mr. Schue lecturing at the front of the room about things Erin had personally learnt years ago. Harmonies, head voice, falsetto. So, like a majority of the room, Erin had tuned him out. She played hangman with Tina as Kurt and Mercedes gossiped in whispers, the rest of the Glee Club doing much the same.

And now it was Thursday, and they were waiting for the-girl-Rachel-set-to-a-crack-house to arrive.

Erin was kind of jealous that she hadn’t had the opportunity to audition on the auditorium’s stage. At her old school they’d had a small stage in the lunch hall where they’d do the school musical and end of year assemblies, the audience would sit at the lunch tables, or in rows of classroom chairs. McKinley’s Auditorium had tiered seats like an actual Theatre.

As Erin appreciated the auditorium, imagining herself standing on that stage, a short Filipino girl walked onto it, looking slightly nervous.

“Hi, I’m Sunshine Corazon, and I’ll be singing _Listen_ from the movie Dreamgirls.” She said.

“Broadway show first.” Rachel said, turning in her seat next to Finn to face the rest of the New Directions. Everyone shushed her in annoyance and Kurt rolled his eyes.

Sunshine took a deep breath and closed her eyes before opening her mouth to sing.

“ _Listen._ ”

With just one word Erin was hooked. Sunshine was amazing, her version of the song possibly even better than Beyonce’s. Her voice had a soulful quality that fit the song perfectly and she owned the stage. Her original timidness melted away as she sang.

Erin cheered with the rest of the Glee club, sharing surprised looks with Kurt, Mercedes, and everyone else. This girl was amazing! Erin was surprised that such a powerful voice came out of such a small person.

Rachel, however, was hunched into Finn’s side.

“ _My Own!_ ” Sunshine finished and the New Directions gave a standing ovation, cheering loudly.

“Wow! Um…” Mr. Schue said as he stood, then gave a surprised laugh. “Welcome to the Glee Club!”

Everyone cheered again. Rachel, however, was wearing a fake smile - the type of smile you’d see on the face of a loser at an awards show, her teeth were on show but her eyes were dead. She didn’t jump up to shake Sunshine’s hand the same way she’d done with Erin, but she looked about as pleased to be getting new blood in the group.

Erin didn’t think there was any way to get Rachel to lower her guard with Sunshine, no smile Sunshine could offer her that would make her feel like less competition for solos, not after everything Rachel had already done to her.

Sunshine wasn’t going to back down to Rachel the way Erin had done.

\------

“I actually would have stayed here but… I think Rachel would have made my life a living hell.” Erin overheard Sunshine say to Mr. Schue on Friday as she, Kurt, and Mercedes, watched as she and some guy dressed like a bodyguard cleaned out her locker. “I just didn’t trust her after she sent me to a crack house.”

“I can’t _believe_ Rachel!” Kurt said as they watched the two walk away, Sunshine’s Hello Kitty backpack comically small against the guy’s shoulder. He turned to look at Erin. “You’re not going to leave us if they offer your family a Green Card, right?”

“My Mum’s American so I have citizenship.” Erin pointed out, “I’d have no use for a Green Card. Besides, when I was reading the show choir blogs before my audition they didn’t say a lot of good things about Vocal Adrenaline except that they ‘performed in perfect synchronicity, almost like a team of robots’ and I don’t think I want to become a robot.”

“Good answer.” Mercedes said, linking her arm with Erin’s. “At least we’ve got you, so we don’t have to worry about trying to find another member. However, Rachel needs to be punished.”

“Already on it.” Kurt said, typing something into his phone. Erin felt her phone buzz in her pocket as he pocketed his and Mercedes opened the group chat.

_Emergency meeting after school. RE: Sunshine leaving McKinley for VA and Rachel’s punishment - KEH_

\------

“Rachel needs to not be given any solos or duets for the whole year! She can sway in the fucking background.” Tina argued and everyone nodded in agreement.

“Guys, is a code red really necessary?” Finn asked. “I get you’re all angry…”

“She sent someone to a _crack house_.” Erin reminded him, “That could have been _me_ , and that’s honestly terrifying!”

“It wasn’t an _active_ crack house?” Finn said sheepishly, trying to lessen his girlfriend’s punishment. He sighed, “Look, guys, I know you’re all angry, I am too, what Rachel did was _bad_. And now our biggest competition has someone who could have been our ace in the hole. But you know how impossible she’ll be if we don’t let her sing.”

“So she gets away with it scott free?” Erin argued, standing up for herself for once. She didn’t think Rachel deserved to simply be let off with a slap on the wrist when she literally endangered someone’s life, active crack-house or not.

“I agree with Erin,” Mercedes said, “Rachel needs to actually be punished for once. I say we don’t let her have a solo at Sectionals. All in favour.”

Everyone in the group raised their hands, several shouting ‘Ay!’

“Fine.” Finn agreed with a resigned sigh, “I’ll go tell her.”

* * *

“What did they say?” Rachel asked as she heard the door of the Choir room open and shut, feeling Finn’s presence behind her.

“Well, I talked them out of giving you a code red.” Finn told her, his voice barely concealing his anger. Rachel felt her breath stutter in her chest, her heart pounding at the close call. She was still the star, she was still allowed to sing.

“But you’re not allowed a solo at sectionals.” Finn continued, the anger in his voice melting away. Rachel felt her heart actually stop and restart at that, that was almost as good as a Code Red. She hadn’t expected them to go that far, they never had in the past. Usually they threatened a Code Red and she apologised. But she always had a solo. Always. How were they meant to win without her at the helm?

She closed her eyes and wished the tears in them away as the imagined images in her mind - walking down Broadway, standing at the top of the iconic red stairs in Times Square, singing at Nationals - faded, too far now to hold onto.

“They were pissed,” Finn continued, his words slicing into Rachel’s already breaking heart, “and they had a right to be. What you did was _bad_ Rachel, and poor Erin’s terrified of you. We’re lucky she still wants to be a part of the group, we’re lucky Vocal Adrenaline didn’t try and snap her up too. We could’ve used Sunshine to _beat_ Vocal Adrenaline, but now they’re just _that_ much stronger than us.”

As Finn continued berating her she knew what he was about to do. She just wished he’d get on with it already.

“Just do it already.” She said, turning abruptly to face him.

“Do what?” Finn asked, confusion clouding his words as his eyes darted around her face, taking in the wetness on her cheeks and in her eyes.

“Break up with me.” Rachel confirmed, her voice cracking. She looked away from his face as she continued, “We both knew it was only a matter of time.”

“I think you’re forgetting I’m not the quarterback anymore.” Finn said self-deprecatingly. “I’m just another Glee loser now.”

The term hurt, coming from Finn, especially when it was directed towards himself.

“Fact is, you should be breaking up with me.”

“I’ll never break up with you.” Rachel said after a moment of silence. And she wouldn’t. Finn was _hers_. He was her endgame, she knew it from the moment he’d kissed her on the Stage last year. She looked up at him through her eyelashes and couldn’t help but smile as his lips quirked into his signature half-smirk.

“Me neither.” He agreed, his voice soft and devoid of the anger of earlier. Rachel felt her heart warm at the sound, chasing away some of the cold sorrow that had gripped it at the solo ban, and she leaned in towards him, tiptoeing slightly.

He bent his knees to meet her kiss, arms coming in around her waist. She put as much love as she could into the kiss before pulling away.

The sorrow gripped at her heart once again as reality sunk in and she looked down at the scuffed linoleum.

“I did it for the team, you know.” She said, trying to justify her actions, trying anything to get her spot as the Star back. Finn stayed silent, looking away from her and pursing his lips.

“I just, I, I love everyone so much.” Rachel stuttered, searching Finn’s face. “I didn’t, I don’t want anyone coming in and interfering.”

“You’ve got to stop saying that, Rachel.” Finn said, annoyed and resigned. “I care about you and everything, but you’ve got to admit the truth! You didn’t do this because you love Glee Club. You did it because you love yourself more.”

Rachel tried to shrink away from the words. Because they were true, weren’t they? Of course Finn would be able to see through her act.

“Okay,” Rachel said, defensively. She paced back and forth as she continued. “I don’t want anyone hogging my spotlight. I love it too much to let it go that easy.”

She paused as she faced Finn again, and bowed her head.

“Do you think that they’ll ever forgive me?” She asked.

“They’ll come around.” Finn promised, and she hoped he was right. She may love herself and the spotlight more than she loved the people in Glee, but she did love them. She’d never had that many friends as a child, but she would call everyone in the Choir room her friends. Real friends she could see herself keeping in touch with for years to come, and that really did mean something to her. She would one day win a Tony, and in her speech she’d thank each and every one of them (at least, she’d thank the New Directions collectively, her proposed speech was already too long to add twelve names into).

“I think apologizing would be a good start.” Finn told her softly, his half-smirk smile back on his face as he took her hand.

She nodded, but pulled her hand away as Finn turned to guide her into the Choir room. She couldn’t face them at that very moment, she needed some time to grieve the loss of her solo and possibly the loss of her dreams.

“Where are you going?” Finn asked, confused as she backed away.

“The auditorium.” Rachel told him, a song already coming to mind. “I just need some alone time first.”

She smiled softly at him before turning away and making her way toward her true and forever love, the stage. The opening chords of _What I did for Love_ started playing in her head and she matched her strides to the beat, imagining herself singing as though in a musical.

* * *

Erin watched, enraptured, as Rachel belted _What I did for Love_ on the stage of the auditorium and she couldn’t help but applaud as she finished. Rachel may be kind of terrifying but Erin couldn’t argue against her being an amazing performer.

At the sound of applause Rachel startled, her eyes squinting against the spotlight illuminating her.

“Erin? What are you doing here?” Rachel asked, and Erin pretended not to notice when she wiped away a tear that had escaped from her eyes.

“Um, you were taking a while to come back to rehearsal, so I said I’d come get you.” Erin told her, “Apparently you’re the only one well versed enough in Sondheim to help Mr. Schue with an example, when I left everyone was kind of just messing around.”

“Well, I’m glad everyone can see my brilliance even still.” Rachel said, slightly haughty, but a sniffle at the end of her sentence betrayed her real emotions.

“Look, Rachel, what you did was really wrong.” Erin started as she walked towards the stage. “But I know Finn’s already bitten your head off about that so I’ll keep this short and sweet. You scared me.”

It seemed to take a moment for the words to sink in.

“I’m sorry.” Rachel said, ducking her head.

“You may want to work on your acting,” Erin replied jokingly, “I can see right through you. You’re not sorry you scared me, because you want me to leave. You want the Glee club to stick to the status-quo. You seemed happy once I let you keep your crown, but it’s like you think I’ll steal it at any moment. Do you even know why I wanted to join? Why I plucked up the courage to actually audition?”

Rachel shook her head.

“Because I love singing.” Erin told her, hopping up onto the stage, and turning to face the empty audience. She was right, this auditorium was miles better than the stage at her old school. She could almost imagine the audience filled with people, the stage lights were a welcoming heat on her face. “And I hadn’t sung since May, not until that day in the courtyard, and I don’t even really like Jay Z or Alicia Keys.”

“Why hadn’t you sung since May?” Rachel asked, sounding completely confused and Erin turned to face her.

“You seemed to know who my dad is,” She said, “But you have no idea what happened, do you? You have no idea why I’m in _Ohio_ of all places.”

Rachel slowly shook her head, deep in thought, before a look of realisation graced her face and she looked at Erin straight on.

“You’re dad’s the west end actor who died last May.” She said and Erin nodded, a small self-deprecating smile on her face.

“The last time I had sung was at his funeral.” She said, turning away and looking out into the audience again. “And even then it had been months. Watching you guys perform? It was like something had ignited in me, a spark I thought had died along with my dad.”

She closed her eyes, imagining the applause that followed a well-received performance, before opening them and turning back to Rachel.

“So I auditioned, for the girl I knew was still inside me that wanted, one day, to perform like he had. I auditioned for her, I auditioned for my dad, wherever he is, and, most of all, I auditioned for myself, because I want music in my life again. I missed singing, I was so happy when everyone clapped and welcomed me into Glee with open arms. Even you stressing that you were the lead soloist, because that meant you thought I was good enough to be a threat. Though, I assure you, I’m not. I’m only a freshman, you’re, what? a Junior? a Senior? I’ll have a few years without you to be in the spotlight if that’s what I want. But then I read the text from Tina saying you’d sent someone to a crack house, and I assumed it was a joke. A hazing ritual. A prank on the newest member. But it wasn’t, you’d actually done that! And that could have been _me_. So of course I’m scared of you Rachel. And I don’t think I’ll be able to trust you anytime soon.”

Rachel was quiet as she looked at Erin before looking out into the audience.

“I really am sorry.” Rachel reiterated, this time actually sounding apologetic and Erin felt herself smile slightly in return.

“Either you took my acting critique on board or you’re actually sorry.” Erin tried to joke, she knew it was the latter. “Come on, you may be banned from a sectionals solo but Mr. Schue wants you to sing _Send in The Clowns_ from _A Little Night Music_ because he’s lecturing us on Sondheim and apparently you’re the only one who can do Barbra any justice.”

“He really said that?” Rachel asked, sounding proud. “I mean, of course I am, I have every Barbra song in my repertoire.”

“It was Kurt, actually.” Erin told her as she followed Rachel through the wings of the stage to the exit on that side of the auditorium, admiring them. “Mr. Schue asked him to sing it first.”

Rachel seemed to perk up even more than that, a little skip in her walk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that concludes Episode 1!  
> Originally I had all the episodes as full chapters, but they were beginning to get really really long, like... 10,000 words long, so I decided I would split them up.  
> I also originally wanted all of the story to be from Erin's POV but I realised you guys would miss out on a lot of story that I was thinking about from other characters POVs and some Bonus scene chapters here and there wouldn't cut it. So I decided to add other POVs in, even if it now looks much more... fanfiction-y. But, hey, it's a fanfiction, and more than that it's a fanfiction of a show that has an ensamble cast and tells it's stories from multiple POVs.  
> I hope the changed is POV aren't too confusing, I tried to make it obvious who's POV it is quickly, and I honestly love writing from Rachel's because I can make her be so Dramatic!
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed my re-write of Season 2, Episode 1!
> 
> Chapter title from 'If I Didn't Believe In You' from The Last Five Years


	4. When Someone Needs a Makeover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Beginning of **S2E2: Britney/Brittany** Rewrite  
> ( _Tuesday 7th September 2010 - > Friday 17th September 2010_)

“All right, who can tell me who Christopher Cross is?” Mr Schue asked on the Tuesday after Labor Day as he wrote the name on the whiteboard.

“He discovered America.” Brittany spoke up and Erin briefly second guessed herself. That was Christopher _Columbus_ , right? She hadn’t really learnt much about American History but she was sure Christopher Cross had something to do with music.

“Close,” Mr. Schue said kindly, “He did write an iconic chart topper, _Sailing_.”

“I have a bad feeling about this lesson,” Erin heard Kurt whisper to Mercedes and she nodded, humming in agreement.

“Never heard of him, don’t _want_ to hear about him.” Tina mumbled to Mike.

“Now, some people think of the term ‘Easy Listening’ as a bad thing.” Mr. Schue continued as if no one had spoken, “But I’m going to let this music speak for itself. You guys love Lady Gaga and the Rolling Stones,” He started handing out sheet music, “And you guys are really good about putting it all out there. But really good music can also be controlled and restrained. It doesn’t have to attack an audience, it can let them come to you.”

Erin read through the sheet music as Mr. Schue nattered on, humming the melody slightly and tapping her foot. It was weirdly familiar but she couldn’t put her finger on why, she’d probably heard her mum play it around the house, she liked to listen to ‘Easy Listening’ music when she was marking papers or doing research.

“How do you get caught between the moon and New York City? They’re like a hundred miles apart.” Finn asked, a confused look on his face.

 _More like 400,000_ , Erin thought, suppressing a laugh and wondering about the reliability of McKinley’s Science classes.

“Mr. Schue? If I may?” Kurt piped up, raising a hand, but carried on without any sort of permission, “I think I speak for all of us when I say, it’s not that we don’t love the idea of spending a week on this silky smooth Adult Contemporary, it’s just that, as teens, this isn’t the easiest music for us to relate to.” Kurt paused briefly before barreling on, “However there is a burgeoning Facebook campaign that has swelled to over five members. The ardent demand: that this week, at the fall homecoming assembly the McKinley High School Glee Club performs a number by, wait for it.” Kurt paused dramatically. “Ms. Britney Spears.”

A buzz of excitement made its way around the room, perking up those who’d zoned out during Mr. Schue’s introduction to Easy Listening. Most of the group sounded excited, talking amongst themselves about their favourite Britney songs.

“No.” Mr. Schue said as everyone finally settled down, “I don’t think she’s a very good role model.”

“But, Mr. Schue, we kind of grew up with her.” Rachel said.

“She’s literally why I wanted to become a performer.” Tina added.

Erin agreed with everyone else, Britney was a constant in her childhood. Her songs were constantly on the radio, played at school discos. Erin had even sung some of her songs at Stage Coach when she was younger.

“I don’t want to do Britney.” Brittany said.

“Why no Britney, Brittany?” Kurt asked.

“Because my name is also Brittany Spears.” Everyone turned to look at Brittany in confusion. Erin was sure Brittany’s last name _wasn’t_ Spears or she would have known that already.

“My middle name is Susan, my last name is Pierce.” Brittany continued, “That makes me Brittany S. Pierce, ‘Brittany SPierce’. I’ve lived my life entirely in Britney Spears’ shadow. I will never be as talented or as famous. I hope you’ll all respect that I want Glee Club to remain a place where I, Brittany S. Pierce, can escape the torment of Britney Spears.”

“Well,” Mr. Schue said, turning away from Brittany to face the whole group. He had a smug look on his face and Erin briefly wondered what his problem with Britney really was. “There you have it guys, it’s been decided, no Britney. Sorry.” He certainly didn’t sound sorry.

“Thanks Britt, thanks a lot.” Kurt said sarcastically, sounding genuinely angry.

“Leave Brittany alone.” Santana sassed back.

“Thank you for understanding,” Brittany said to Santana, “It’s been a hard road.”

“Um, can we move on?” Rachel piped up, and Mr. Schue started lecturing them on Micheal Bolton.

Erin had only really been in Glee Club for a week but the dynamic was already confusing her. Why weren’t they _rehearsing_ during rehearsals? Wasn’t Show Choir all about _performing_? Shouldn’t they be picking songs for their first competition? Or at the very least, shouldn’t Mr. Schue be showing them how to read music, or test their ranges, or something other than lecturing them on a musician who was no longer relevant?

Erin had stumbled across the Show Choir blogs on tumblr and, admittedly, had gotten a bit obsessed with watching performances from years previous and reading the anonymous gossip blogs (apparently last year there had been a scandal with a member of a show choir going into labour after their Regionals performance). It looked like most of the other show choirs were at least _part_ of the way to a set list, or were performing around their regions to help gather funding and to practice. Why weren’t _they_ doing that?

\-----

Wednesday’s ‘rehearsal’ was more of Mr. Schue lecturing them on some old white guy who was no longer relevant. As soon as Erin got home that afternoon she joined Kurt’s Britney Spears Facebook campaign, hopefully if they all joined Mr. Schue would stop trying to force his own music tastes onto them and start _teaching them something_.

Thankfully they didn’t have to listen to Mr. Schue lecture them about Christopher Cross on Thursday, but they also _still_ didn’t rehearse. Instead some random dentist came in and made them chew one of those blue pill-like things that show whether or not you brush your teeth enough.

Erin couldn’t help but cringe at the display of machismo going on at the front of the room with Mr. Schue and the dentist. Either they were fighting over Miss Pillsbury, or secretly a couple themselves. When Mr. Schue looked towards Miss. Pillsbury with an awkward smile Erin realised that it was probably the former.

“Before we chew, I would just like to alert Mr. Schue that there’s been two new additions to the Britney Spears Facebook campaign.” Kurt said.

Mr. Schue finally looked away from Miss Pillsbury with a sigh.

“Sorry, the answer's still no.”

Erin chewed the capsule, it tasted disgusting. She was thankful she’d brushed her teeth that morning, but she still checked herself in the reflection of her phone before smiling widely like everyone else.

Finn let out a yelp of surprise and everyone turned around to see Rachel with bright blue teeth smiling confusedly.

“Oh, My god!” Kurt exclaimed.

Both Artie and Brittany also had bright blue teeth, Artie apparently because he couldn’t see himself in the mirror, which made no sense, and Brittany because she thought Dr. Pepper was a dentist… which also made no sense.

* * *

“Hey, give me your iPod.” Kurt said as Erin opened the door to his idling Nav after school.

She looked mildly panicked as she slowly took a purple iPod nano from her pocket, her thumb gently caressing over the top of the back of it.

“Why?” She asked, keeping the iPod in her hand.

Kurt waved the unconnected aux cord at her in amusement.

“My phone’s about to die, I thought we could use your music today.” He explained with a laugh, “What’s wrong with your music?”

“My music’s _fine_.” Erin said, a bit too quickly, and Kurt wondered what secrets her music library held. He didn’t say anything though, but held his hand out for the iPod, one eyebrow raised expectantly.

After a couple of beats Erin sighed and ran her thumb over the back of the case again before handing the iPod over, seemingly resigned to her fate. Kurt plugged the iPod in and scrolled down to shuffle all, interested in what the first song would be.

He hit play and, with the iPod still in hand, drove out of the parking lot.

A ‘G’ note echoed around the car and Kurt started only slightly as _My Chemical Romance_ ’s _Welcome to the Black Parade_ started to play. He shook the iPod to skip to the next song, not really feeling pop punk in that moment. Surely Erin would have some Musicals or something on her iPod.

 _“I’m in the business of misery let’s take it from the top she’s got a bo-_ ” Kurt shook the iPod again as they drove down North Street.

“ _Sit tight I’m gonna need you to keep time-_ ” Panic at the Disco. He shook the iPod again.

“ _Summer has gone to pass-_ ” Green Day. Another shake.

“ _I see your face in my mind as I drive away-_ ” Huh, Taylor Swift this time. He shook it again.

“ _Did I just hear an alarm start ringing, did I see sirens go flying past…_ ” Kurt paused as _Moving too fast_ from _The Last Five Years_ played through the speakers. That was more like it. He kept the song on through to the end of the chorus before his curiosity got the better of him and he shook the iPod again,

The angry guitars of _Sk8er Boi_ suddenly blasted through the car and Kurt shook the iPod.

Kurt smiled at the familiar intro to _Gives You Hell_ and let it play through to the end of the first chorus as well, relishing in the nostalgia of Rachel’s drama over Finn. He sung along softly, Erin’s voice joining him after a second of hesitation.

He shook the iPod again and the strains of _Claire De Lune_ wafted through the car.

“What _are_ you doing?” Erin asked before he could shake the iPod again.

“Getting to know you.” Kurt said, smirking and turning onto her street. He shook the iPod.

“ _Stacy’s mom has got it going on-_ ” Another shake.

“ _Hiya Barbie_ -” He laughed and gave the iPod another shake.

“ _When the world’s got you feeling blue, you can count on me-_ ” Another shake

“Stop!” Erin giggled as the intro to _She’s so Lovely_ by _Scouting for Girls_ played.

“You have an interesting mix of songs on here,” Kurt laughed and Erin blushed slightly. He finally pulled up into her driveway. He shook the iPod again.

“ _I got a pocket gotta pocket full of Sunshine-_ ”

Shake.

The Intro to _Dancing Queen_.

Shake.

“ _Na na na na na na na na na na na na na-_ ”

Shake.

“ _One day when I came home at lunch time, I heard a funny noise…_ ” Kurt startled as Erin started singing along to the song. He didn’t recognise it, but it was obvious Erin knew every word.

“What the hell is this song?” Kurt asked laughing as Erin just continued singing about time machines and living underwater.

“ _Triple-breasted women swim around town TOTALLY NAKED,_ ” Erin literally shouted the words and Kurt couldn’t stop the startled look that graced his face. Erin dissolved into giggles until he shook the iPod again.

“ _I've had a little bit too much, much (oh, oh, oh) All of the people start to rush (start to rush by)._ ” Kurt smiled as Gaga filled the car. They really needed to do more Gaga in Glee as well. He shook the iPod again.

“Seriously, I didn’t peg you for a Pop-Punk fan.” Kurt said as they continued skipping through Erin’s iPod.

“Why not?” Erin asked, her head tilted to one side.

“You just… didn’t seem the type.” Kurt said shrugging as yet another _Panic! At The Disco_ song filled the car. “I mean, _Tina_ likes _Fall Out Boy_ and _My Chemical Romance_ , and that’s not a surprise, you know?”

Erin was always dressed in jeans and t-shirts, a plain colored hoodie and either slouchy calf-length boots that made her legs look stumpy, or a pair of plain black off brand Converse. Occasionally her T-shirt would have a pattern, like yesterday’s was white with butterflies and ruffled sleeves, but more often than not all of her outfit was plain fits and solid colours. Boring.

“I don’t really have a style, I guess. I spent so long in school uniforms I never really developed one.” Erin shrugged, Kurt would _hate_ to have to wear a school uniform every day, no matter how dapper they could sometimes be, “And I didn’t really get invited anywhere back home, so jeans, t-shirts, and hoodies. Comfy clothes.”

Kurt suddenly got an idea as they idled in front of Erin’s house. He turned off the car and turned to her, a large smile on his face.

“I’m going to give you a makeover.” He said with excitement.

\-----

Erin’s bedroom had dark purple walls, a Queen-sized bed next to the window and laden with throw pillows and plushies greeted him as he walked through the door, through the window he could see almost perfectly into one of the rooms of the house next door, like something out of a Taylor Swift Music Video. He turned to the left and spied her built-in closet with mirrored doors, a door next to it, seemingly leading to a bathroom, and a chest of drawers next to that, a mirror leant on top, a stack of books and other knick-knacks in front of it.

As he turned to the wall the door was on he paused in his perusal. The whole wall was plastered in pictures and posters cut straight from magazines and sellotaped in place. It was an eclectic mix of actors and actresses from blockbuster movies like _Harry Potter_ and _Twilight_ , singers of multiple genres, family photos and landscapes of the English countryside or London landmarks from disposable cameras, pictures seemingly printed off of facebook of girls all dressed in matching, hideous, school uniforms (Erin always on the end, or shoved to the side), and advertisements for West End shows. The collage started at the floor and ended at the ceiling, curling around the door frame. It was the most chaotic wallpaper Kurt had ever seen, but it did look kind of cool, and certainly told him a lot about Erin, more than her wardrobe did, anyway. A keyboard stood in the centre of the wall, an old looking guitar leaning against the side of it.

He turned one last time to see an alcove, a desk and chair next to a bookshelf piled with books. A shadow box full of signed Playbill and West End programs placed above the desk.

Kurt made a beeline to the closet and, after a nod from Erin, began looking through all her clothes. It didn’t take long, and wielded little to work with. But he’d done more with less. Hell, last year he’d managed to get Rachel into a skin tight catsuit a la Sandy in _Grease_.

He went through the closet again, looking at the things hanging with more scrutiny. A whole section seemed to be dedicated to the school uniform he’d seen in the pictures on the wall. Black blocky blazer, white short sleeved shirts, black pleated skirts. Next to that hung a plethora of plaid shirts, all sorted in the colours of the rainbow. He hadn’t seen Erin wear any of these yet, and as he pulled one out he realised why. Unlike the plaid shirts he’d seen a lot of the girls at McKinley wearing these were definitely oversized, possibly men’s shirts. Next to these were a couple of dresses. A teal blue one with cap sleeves and a built in belt, a green one that looked more like something the mother of the bride would wear to a wedding, a flowy black one with a square neckline and spaghetti straps and one in the same style but in a deep burgundy colour, and then there were her zip-up hoodies, again organised by colour, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, and pink.

“Where are your T-Shirts?” Kurt asked, an idea coming to him. Erin gestured to the chest of draws.

“Third drawer is T-Shirts, fourth is trousers and skirts, and the top one is accessories.”

Kurt nodded and opened the drawers, they were surprisingly organised. Kurt had seen the state of Mercedes and Tina’s drawers, t-shirts hanging out of half open drawers, shoved into them with no sense of order. Like her wardrobe Erin had her T-Shirts sorted into colour, starting at white, going through the rainbow, and ending in black. though half of the drawer seemed to be dedicated to Merch as he spied a _Les Mis_ shirt, a _Wicked_ shirt and a _Phantom_ shirt.

He sorted through the white T-shirts, an outfit in mind, and picked the tightest fitted one. A lot of her T-shirt seemed to be relaxed in fit or Unisex. Then he opened her accessories drawer and got out a pair of black tights.

He went back to her closet and took the black dress from it’s hanger.

“ _Erin, now that we're friends, I've decided to make you my new project!_ ” Kurt said with a smirk as he handed her the outfit and she laughed.

“ _You really don’t have to do that_.” She said, playing along.

“ _I know, that’s what makes me so nice_.” Kurt said and sat at her keyboard the chords of _Popular_ playing from his fingers.

“ _Whenever I see someone less fortunate than I..._ ” He began singing and she laughed as she headed through the door next to the closet to change.

He continued playing and singing as she changed and reached the chorus as she re-entered the room.

“ _Popular, you’re gonna be Popular!_ ” He sang at her, taking off his Doc Martens.

“ _I’ll show you what shoes to wear._ ” He sang, handing them to her, before coming up behind her and parting her hair in the middle, mussing it up slightly. “ _How to fix your hair..._ ”

Erin laughed as he continued singing and he was glad he was able to get her to smile. He tied a red and black plaid shirt around her waist, and clipped a necklace around her neck.

“ _So let’s start, because you’ve got an awfully long way to go._ ” He finished, smiling at her in the mirror. If they were in a musical they’d be doing a whole Makeover montage right then, the song playing in the background as Erin emerged in more and more outrageous outfits.

“So?” He asked, as Erin took the outfit in. She played with the cuffs of the shirt around her waist with a soft smile.

“I like it.” She said, sounding surprised. “It’s very…”

“90’s grunge.” Kurt concluded with a nod. “I thought it matched the aesthetic of your room, and your music library.”

“I never would have put these things together.” She said, turning this way and that, watching the skirt of the dress flutter around her legs. “Though I obviously can’t have your boots.”

She shook her foot and Kurt watched as the too big docs rattled around her foot.

“It would work with your sneakers too, and I think I have a couple pairs that are probably around your size I was going to donate. 6?”

“Uh… UK5?” Erin shot back, a confused smile on her face and Kurt nodded.

“6.” he confirmed, “I’ll bring them with me tomorrow.”

“You really don’t have to.” Erin said, kindly, but Kurt waved her off.

“Seriously, I was going to donate them anyway, why not donate them to you? I’ll bring them tomorrow along with some other things I was going to donate.” He smiled. “So? Good makeover?”

Erin nodded enthusiastically.

“Great makeover!” She told him, “Though I think I need some eyeliner and accessories or something.”

They spent a good hour or so messing around with Erin’s limited makeup and jewelry and creating more 90s grunge inspired outfits from Erin’s limited clothes before promising to meet up some weekend to go thrift shopping.

“If I see you turn up for school in a plain T-shirt and jeans again I’m not letting you in my car.” He told her before he left. “You’re no longer allowed to dress like an extra in the TV show of my life, got it?”

“Got it,” Erin laughed and smiled at him. “Bye, Kurt.”

* * *

Erin waved until Kurt’s Nav turned the corner and then went back inside. Her cheeks hurt from smiling. The afternoon with Kurt was fun, and now she had some really cool outfits she could wear to school! She’d never had to worry about what she wore before, and she had definitely created a sort of uniform for herself for McKinley. Kurt was right, her old look made her look like an extra in the background of a Teen drama.

“Did you have a friend over?” Erin jumped out of her skin as her mum’s voice came from the kitchen. She turned.

Rose Bailey leant in the doorway, a soft smile on her face, an apron on over her work attire, and a mug of tea in her hands. Rose looked more like Xander than she did Erin, or really Erin looked more like her father than she did her mum, the only thing the two of them had in common were their eyes and (lack of) height.

Rose had short dark brown, almost black, hair, an angular face, brown eyes like Erin and pale skin. She was short, barely 5 foot, but seemed almost willowy.

“Yeah, I got a makeover.” Erin said. She felt self-conscious as her mum looked over her outfit and makeup. She was now wearing one of her numerous Wicked merch shirts, a few sizes too large (it had been her dad’s), over a black long sleeve, with her one pair of dark wash skinny jeans that she never wore because of the hole in the knee. A purple plaid shirt (again, a hand-me down from her dad. Xander had refused to keep anything of his) was tied around her waist, and her hair was piled on her head in an artfully messy bun. Her eyes were lined in black.

“I’m glad you’re finally making friends, was she in your class?” Rose asked before taking a sip of her tea. This was maybe the longest conversation Erin had had with her mum since her dad’s funeral that wasn’t “ _please pass the salt”_ or “ _how was school?”_

“Uh, no, I met _him_ through Glee Club.” Erin said, emphasising the pronoun as a challenge. She wasn’t actually sure what her mum thought about gay people, she’d grown up around here though so Erin wasn’t sure it would be the greatest reaction. Rose only blinked, though she also looked slightly confused.

“I didn’t know you joined a club.” Rose said.

“I mentioned it last week.” Erin reminded her. Her mum always seemed to forget things Erin told her, or maybe she just didn’t listen to Erin in the first place. Xander, on the other hand, was always listened to.

“Oh, right, of course!” Rose said with a bright smile, but Erin knew she didn’t actually remember. “So, what do you do in Glee Club?”

“It’s a show choir.” Erin reminded her, “We sing and dance and perform.”

Her mum’s face seemed to shutter, her eyes turning sad.

“You always did like singing.” Rose said softly before shaking her head and pasting a smile back on her face, “Anyway, dinner tonight is Mac and Cheese.”

“Great.” Erin said, and Rose gave her one last smile before turning back into the kitchen.

\-----

The new look seemed to gain her more attention the next day at school, she no longer blended into the background. People noticed her, her lab partner actually talked to her in biology, the teachers called on her more often. It was slightly overwhelming, but it also felt nice to be _noticed_ for once.

However, being noticed wasn’t always a good thing at McKinley High, especially when you were part of the Glee Club.

The slushies were cold. Very, _very_ cold. And green, Erin hadn’t seen a _green_ slushy before, licking her lips she realised it was apple flavoured and almost gagged from the artificial taste. She watched, open-mouthed, as her attackers, Azimio and Karofsky, fled the scene, hi-fiving and laughing.

“You okay?” She heard Kurt ask beside her and turned to him with teary eyes.

“I think I prefer blending in.” She said, shaking out her arms and pulling her t-shirt, thankfully not one of her dad’s but a black one with a Batman logo, away from her body. “That was fucking _cold_. And _sticky_.”

“Come on, I’ll show you our clean up station.” Kurt said, guiding her towards where the boy’s locker room was and into the closest girl’s bathroom.

He started rummaging in a janitor’s closet that was in the room, pulling out red towels, some products and a large McKinley gym shirt that looked like it was big enough to fit everyone in the Glee Club.

“This is the least used bathroom in the school.” Kurt explained, handing Erin a towel and the t-shirt and pushing her towards the stalls. “The girls, Artie, and I use it to clean up, the other boys usually use the locker room, but they’re less likely to get slushied anyway.”

She cleaned her face and changed as he talked, and then left the stall.

“How do the teachers allow this?” She asked incredulously, Kurt gestured for her to sit on a stool and put her head over the sink as if they were in a hair salon. He washed out her hair as he talked.

“It’s McKinley,” was all he had to say to explain, his voice had a hint of anger in it. “They just don’t care. It’s been happening to the Glee Club for forever, even before Mr. Schue took over.”

“Why does the school even _have_ a slushy machine?” Kurt rolled his eyes and shrugged. His mouth was turned down in an annoyed frown.

Erin towel dried her hair, frowning too, as Kurt washed her t-shirt in the sink.

“You get used to it.” Kurt said, dryly, hanging the t-shirt on a hanger and placing it in the closet to dry.

“We shouldn’t have to. This is bullying, and it’s not even _subtle_.” She looked at herself in the mirror and frowned deeper. “I’m literally _green_.”

“ _Would it be all right by you, If I de-greenify you?_ ” Kurt sang laughingly, breaking out of his indignant haze slightly. He held up some sort of product and Erin nodded.

It took awhile to get the food colouring off of her skin, and even then her skin was still tinged green when she and Kurt finally entered the choir room. She looked like she was a second away from turning into the Hulk, and so did Kurt, his face still holding a bitter frown.

“... Cross’s song _Arthur’s Theme (Best That You Can Do_ ) was made for the 1981 film _Arthur_ and peaked at number 1 on the Billboard Top 100...” Mr. Schue was saying at the front of the room, sticking a picture of a man with a guitar onto the board.

“Apple slushy?” Mercedes asked them in a whisper as they sat. She looked bored out of her mind at the lecture Mr. Schue was apparently giving.

Erin nodded, slumping in her seat and moving her wet hair out of her face. Quinn, also bored and yawning, handed her a hair tie and she quickly put her wet hair into a messy bun.

“I take it we haven’t missed much.” Kurt whispered back and Mercedes shook her head with a yawn.

“...making Christopher Cross a golden globe, Oscar, and five-time Grammy Award winner.”

Brittany waved her hand.

“Brittany.” Mr. Schue called on her, smiling, glad that someone was interested in his lecture.

“I would just like to say that from now on, I demand to have every solo in Glee Club.” Everyone perked up and turned to Brittany, coming out of their Christopher Cross induced hazes.

“What?” Mr. Schue asked, confusion evident in his voice.

“When I had my teeth cleaned, I had the most amazing Britney Spears fantasy. I sang and danced better than her. Now I realize what a powerful woman I truly am.”

“I went with her, and I had a Britney fantasy too.” Santana said, sitting up in her chair.

“See Mr. Schue, I told you!” Kurt interjected, and Mr. Schue turned his disapproving stare to him. “Britney Spears busted our Britt out of her everyday, fragmented haze of confusion and gave her the confidence to step up and perform!”

“I’m more talented than all of you, I see that clearly now.” Brittany said, “It’s Brittany, Bitch.”

“Guys, we’re not doing Britney Spears, and that’s that.” Mr. Schue said firmly. Kurt’s anger seemed to radiate, his anger at Mr. Schue piling on top of his anger at Azimio and Karofsky.

“Mr. Schue, you’re letting your own personal issues get in the way of something that we are all telling you we really. want. to do!” Kurt all but shouted, Mercedes nodded in agreement. “I mean this club _regularly_ pays tribute to pop culture, and Britney Spears _is_ pop culture!” Mr. Schue began to look more and more frustrated with Kurt, even turning away as if to gain some composure, but Kurt didn’t let up in his tirade. “To suggest otherwise is heretical!”

“KURT!” Mr. Schue shouted, making a majority of the Glee Club jump in their seats, never having seen the man this angry before, “I’m done talking about this!”

“Geez!” Kurt scoffed, getting defensive. Erin laid a hand on his arm, hoping to calm him down but he just shrugged it off, “Let loose a little, would you!? Stop being so fucking uptight all the time!”

Everyone stared at Kurt in shock at his outburst including Mr. Schue. Erin once again put a hand on his arm and it was once again shrugged off as Kurt crossed his arms over his chest and slumped in his seat, glaring daggers at Mr. Schue.

“Kurt…” Mr. Schue said calmly. “I’ll see you in the principal’s office.”

“Uh-oh.” Mercedes said as Kurt gathered his bag and stood, the skirt he was wearing fluttered around his legs as he stalked off, Mr. Schue followed him out of the room.

Everyone sat in quiet shock for a few seconds before Rachel started applauding.

“That was one of the best dramatic exits I’ve ever seen.” She said in approval. “And I’ve had my fair share of dramatic exits.”

The rest of the Glee Club nodded in agreement.

\-----

Erin waited outside Kurt’s car for him until it was the only one left in the student parking lot. It took awhile for him to emerge from the school so she sat against one of the wheels re-reading _The Hunger Games_.

A pair of black boots appeared in her vision and she smiled as she looked up at Kurt.

“You in trouble?” She asked, placing her bookmark in her book and standing ungracefully.

“Not yet. I managed to explain to Mr. Schue I was already riled up about you being slushied so I was acting out or whatever.” Kurt replied, opening the car and hopping in. He rolled his eyes as Erin hopped in the passenger seat. “He can be rather gullible.”

“I can’t say that I’m surprised.” Erin commented. “Though I also don’t see why he doesn’t just let us sing one Britney song. Can’t he tell how bored we are with this Chris Cross guy?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title from 'Popular' from Wicked


	5. You're Toxic, I'm Slipping Under

Erin wasn’t the only one who underwent a makeover. She was shocked on Monday morning when she first saw Rachel walking down the halls of McKinley dressed in a short skirt, knee high socks, a white shirt, and a cardigan. Now, these pieces of clothing were definitely something Erin had seen Rachel wear before, but not like this. He midriff was showing, her skirt was so short it threatened to flip up and reveal her underwear with every step, and her blouse was open to show the bralette she wore under it. Erin wasn’t entirely sure _why_ she couldn’t help but stare, but it was almost impossible not to as Rachel walked down the halls of McKinley. Maybe it was like watching a car crash or whatever.

Unlike Erin, Rachel wasn’t slushied for her new look, instead she was leered at, objectified.

“Well, Rachel, congratulations.” Santana said, for once without a hint of sarcasm. “Normally you dress like the fantasy of a perverted Japanese businessman, with a very dark, specific fetish, but I actually dig this look. Yay.”

“Thank you.” Rachel replied, twirling one of her braids.

“I think what Santana’s trying to say, Rachel - though I risk expulsion by saying so -” Kurt held up his hands in defence as he turned to Mr. Schue, “is that it seems Britney Spears has really helped you blossom.” He rolled his eyes in Mr. Schue’s direction and gave him a pointed look. “That’s all.”

“Wait, Rachel. Is that true?” Mr. Schue asked as Kurt sat down primly. “I mean, you are sort of dressing differently.”

Kurt and Mercedes subtly high-fived.

“Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy.” Artie interjected, moving his hands up and down. Erin glared down at him as Finn reprimanded him.

“Look, all I know is that I had a very vivid Britney Spears fantasy at the dentist and since then, it’s made me feel free to get out of my own way. I think I’ve just always been afraid to dress like a pretty girl because I’ve never really felt like one before. Now I realise it’s okay to feel that way about yourself every now and then.” Rachel finally paused to breathe. “And maybe it’s a good thing.”

“It’s such a good thing. I can’t believe it.” Brittany said.

“William? A word.” Coach Sylvester said and Mr. Schue left them to talk to her. It seemed like once again their ‘rehearsal’ would become completely useless, Erin wondered, briefly, if Sunshine had made the correct choice in moving to Carmel High. Vocal Adrenaline, at least, would be actually _rehearsing_ something instead of waiting around for their choir director to do his job and actually teach them something useful.

As it became clear that Mr. Schue wasn’t coming back everyone split off into small groups to do their own things until the bell rang for the next period. Rachel was at the front of the room doing vocal warm ups at the piano. Quinn was sat in a corner reading a book for her English class with Puck hovering over her pretending to do his own homework. Mercedes, Tina, and Kurt were next to Erin gossiping about someone or other Erin didn’t know. Santana and Brittany were giggling in another corner about something. Finn was staring protectively at his girlfriend and Mike and Artie were chatting about something Erin couldn’t hear.

Sure, Vocal Adrenaline may be actually rehearsing right now, but they, from what Erin had read on the Show Choir Blogs, weren’t like this. They were robots, they practiced non-stop. They didn’t have the heart or soul that the New Directions had. Erin had watched plenty of American High-School TV shows and Movies in her life but had never seen a more diverse group of friends than this… except maybe in _The Breakfast Club_.

They may not be rehearsing, but they were making friends, and if pop culture had taught Erin anything it was that Friendship was the most important thing of all. Sure, she may not be the best of friends with these people yet, but she could see herself becoming close with most, if not all, of them.

\-----

“I was pretty sure Artie’s legs don’t work.” Quinn deadpanned after Finn and Artie announced that they were now on the football team, again in Finn’s case. Now, Erin didn’t know much about American Football, but she was almost certain it couldn’t be played in a wheelchair.

“My teammates can push my chair like a battering ram!” Artie said cheerfully.

“There’s no rules against it, we checked.” Finn piped up, looking proud of himself.

“Well it’s certainly… innovative.” Erin said confusedly.

“I have Britney Spears to thank.” Artie said.

“You’re welcome.” Brittany joked.

“Britney plus nitrous gave me an amazing idea, and it gave me the nerve to tell Coach Bieste that Finn and I both really want to be on the team.”

“Wait, you’re back on the football team?” Rachel asked incredulously, turning around to glare at her boyfriend.

“Yeah.” Finn smirked.

“Suddenly you’re way hotter to me, weird.” Santana said.

“Wait, I don’t get it, how come everyone’s having Britney Spears fantasies?” Puck asked.

Artie then went on a spiel about nitrous oxide and vivid dreams as Mr. Schue finally entered the Choir room.

“Okay guys, listen up.” Mr. Schue said, clapping his hands to gain the group’s attention.

“Mr. Schue,” Kurt said, raising a hand, “If I may?”

He was about to start speaking even without permission when Mr. Schue interrupted him.

“Kurt, I overheard what you guys were just talking about and I know what you’re going to say. The answer is _no._ ” Kurt’s face fell and the group grumbled. “No I’m not going to stand in the way anymore. If you guys want to do Britney at this year’s homecoming assembly, I’m fine with it.”

Tina cheered loudly, hands in the air in triumph as everyone else burst into excited chatter.

“I know!” Mr. Schue enthused. “And more than that, I am going to perform with you!”

Suddenly the chatter froze, everyone looking at Mr. Schue in disbelief.

“Right?” Mr. Schue asked excitedly and everyone was silent for a beat before cheering sarcastically, but that didn’t seem to take the grin off of Mr. Schue’s face.

“Is it normal for Show Choir directors to perform with their students?” Erin whispered to Kurt.

“No, but that certainly doesn’t stop Mr. Schue.” Kurt whispered back as Mr. Schue began excitedly naming Britney songs.

\-----

Erin got her wish of actually rehearsing for a performance, but she wasn’t expecting _this._ She, like every 14 year old in 2010, loved Britney Spears, and Toxic was a classic, but omg, one sure fire way to get kids hating a song is for a teacher to sing it. They’re all performers though, so they grin and bear it, practicing all of Wednesday and Thursday rehearsal before they perform during homeroom on Friday.

And perform they do.

Erin felt mostly uncomfortable throughout the performance, a show smile on her face as she, and the rest of the New Directions, basically simulated sexual acts with hats. She’s _14_ , the oldest person in the group is _17_ , and Mr. Schue is _at least_ 30 years old. It was uncomfortably weird.

Not to mention the fact that their performance ended with Coach Sylvester pulling the fire alarm and people, screaming, running from the gymnasium.

\-----

Despite the confusing and ridiculous start to the day, Glee that afternoon was rather chill. No one even _mentioned_ the dramatics that happened earlier in the day, so Erin didn’t either. But that didn’t stop her from thinking about how crazy and decidedly _not normal_ McKinley High was. She thought the Glee Club were supposed to be outcasts, but everyone went literally crazy when they performed that morning, as if they were The Beatles or something!

Rachel went on some long spiel during Glee about how she should let Finn fly free, or whatever, and Erin wondered exactly what drama she’d managed to miss the past couple of weeks between Finn and Rachel.

Her cover of Paramore’s _The Only Exception_ was amazing though and Erin couldn’t help but join in with the harmonies. It was interesting to watch everyone as Rachel sang. Brittany and Santana kept looking at each other and looking away, Finn was gazing at Rachel with a dopey smile on his face, Quinn and Puck kept sharing meaningful glances, and Mike and Tina were adorably swaying to the beat, Mike's arm wrapped around Tina’s shoulders. Artie seemed to be looking at the two with jealousy and Erin wondered what the backstory was to that.

While Erin still wasn’t sure the New Directions and McKinley High were entirely normal, she realised that normal was overrated anyway. The New Directions were the New Directions, and she was a part of that now, however crazy the group could be.

\-----

“Hey Kurt,” Erin greeted as she entered his car on Monday morning. She was still somewhat on a high after their thrift shopping trip at the weekend. She wasn’t used to having friends who wanted to hang out with her outside of school.

“Hey, my dad forgot his breakfast this morning so I have to drop it by if that’s okay? His shop’s on the way so it shouldn’t make us late.” Kurt greeted her.

“That’s fine,” Erin replied, smiling at Kurt.

Erin stayed in the car as Kurt dropped off his father’s breakfast, humming along contentedly to the _Newsies_ soundtrack. She could hear the conversation coming from inside through the cracked window.

“You should go to dinner with your dad,” She said as Kurt climbed back into the car, his face looking annoyed.

“I haven’t missed a Sing Along Sound of Music since Mom died,” He replied, slumping in his seat, “It’s not my fault it’s on Friday this year instead of Saturday. Dad knows how important this is to me, Mom and I used to go every year, he took me until I was able to drive myself. I don’t get what his problem is!”

“Maybe it’s because you didn’t give him any warning?” Erin suggested, shrugging. “You’ve been missing Friday Night Dinners lately, but you at least told him more than a couple of days beforehand, right?”

“Uhg, I know. I honestly feel terrible now.” Kurt started the car. “He said he was disappointed in me. I hate when he’s disappointed in me.”

“He’ll get over it, and the next time you’ll know to tell him in advance when you’ll miss dinners.”

“I know, god, I’m still not missing _The_ _Sound of Music_ , though. I can’t, it’s a once a year thing, and we can have dinner with Carole and Finn anytime.”

“Send him a text apologizing or something once we get to school. He loves you, Kurt. He’ll understand if you explain.”

“Okay. Thanks, Erin.”

\-----

Finn stood at the front of the choir room, looking shaken that afternoon in Glee Club.

“Something happened to me, and I can’t really get into it, but it’s shaken me to my core.”

“Oh my god, he’s coming out.” Puck exclaimed.

“Why, yes. There is a man who’s sort of come into my life recently.” Finn said to Puck’s shocked exclamation. Erin and Kurt shared a look of shock, leaning forward, before Finn continued, clarifying. “And, that man is Jesus Christ.”

Erin and Kurt sighed, rolling their eyes and slumping back into their chairs as Finn continued. Rachel just looked at her boyfriend in shock. Quinn, however, was smiling brightly playing with her cross, Mercedes was also smiling.

“I was thinking this week, we could pay tribute to him, in music.” Finn concluded, a large smile on his face. “You know, pay tribute to Jesus.”

“Sorry, uh, but if I wanted to sing about Jesus I’d go to church.” Kurt snarked, cutting Finn off. “And the reason I don’t go to church is because most churches don’t think very much of gay people. Or women. Or science.”

Erin raised a hand in solidarity. “I agree.”

“I don’t see anything wrong with getting a little Church up in here.” Mercedes said.

“I had a really hard year, and I turned to God a lot for help.” Quinn said, nodding in agreement Erin wondered what, exactly, made the year hard for the head cheerleader. She’d gathered from conversations that something had happened to her last school year, but everyone seemed to talk around the subject without bringing it up. From what Erin had seen in her months at McKinley Quinn was top dog, so whatever had happened couldn’t have been that bad if she was still on top. “I for one, wouldn’t mind saying thanks.”

“Well, I’m okay with singing some religious songs because I grew up with them going to a Catholic primary school,” Erin said, and Santana sat back in her seat, shutting her mouth on what was probably a snarky reply to Quinn.

“But I can understand why some people might be against a whole week of honoring Jesus. Firstly, we have at least two Jews in this club who obviously don’t believe he was the son of God, and secondly we have people in this group who simply don’t really believe in God.” Erin paused, looking around at the rest of the New Directions. “Right? I know I don’t and I grew up surrounded by religion.”

“Well, guys, maybe our song selections don’t have to be about _Jesus_.” Mr Schue compromised, as Finn looked at him with indignation. “We could do songs about... Spirituality.”

Puck rolled his eyes and Finn snapped.

“You got a problem with Jesus?” He asked.

“Oh I got no problem with the guy, I’m a total Jew for Jesus. He’s my number one Heb.” Puck shot back, sarcastically, with an eye roll. “What I don’t like seeing is everyone using J-Money to cramp everyone else’s style because it seems to me that true spirituality, or whatever you want to call it, is about enjoying the life that you’ve been given.”

Erin had never heard Puck say something so eloquently. However, as Puck continued, the illusion shattered.

“I mean I see God every time I make out with a new chick.”

“Okay, okay, that doesn’t make any sense.” Rachel butted in, finally speaking up. “In fact, it’s stupid.” She turned to glare up at Puck.

“Are you calling Mr. Billy Joel stupid?” Puck asked before stepping out of his seat and moving to the front of the room, as Finn sat back down next to Rachel who looked at him incredulously.

Brad, miraculously, seemed to know what song Puck was planning and started the intro to _Only The Good Die Young_ as Puck picked up a guitar and one of the Jazz Band members started playing the drums.

“ _Come out Virginia,  
Don’t make me wait  
You Catholic girls  
start much too late._

 _Oh but sooner or later_  
it comes down to fate.  
_I might as well be the one._ ”

A vast majority of the Glee Club stood and began dancing as Puck sang. Erin couldn’t help but jump up and join the rest of them in dancing, even while Kurt moved to sit in Mr. Schue’s rolling office chair, face impassive, annoyed, and angry at the whole situation as he fished his phone from his pocket.

Everyone whooped and cheered as Brad played the ending of the song, well almost everyone.

Erin looked over at Kurt staring down miserably at his phone screen, the only one not swept up by the impromptu jam session and good mood.

“You okay, Kurt?” Erin asked as she leaned against the back of the rolling chair, jostling the unusually quiet boy. She glanced down at the phone in his hand and saw a text window open, a long and rambling message typed out.

“Fine,” He replied curtly, “Just really don’t feel like singing songs about a god who, if he’s real, hates my guts for something I can’t change and didn’t choose.”

“And you’re thinking about the fight you had with your dad this morning?” Erin surmised.

“And I’m thinking about the fight I had with Dad this morning.” Kurt confirmed with a sigh, leaning back in the chair and pocketing his phone. “I’ve been writing and re-writing an apology text to him all day but I can’t make it sound, well, not bitchy.”

“That’s because you’re a bit of a bitch.” Erin said with a teasing lilt. Kurt rolled his eyes at her with a smile. Erin smiled back at him as the bell rang. “I can look it over after you go to French if you need me to?”

“Yeah, thanks, I’d appreciate that.”

“No worries.” Erin told him as they gathered up their bags.

\-----

Erin didn’t see Kurt after his French class, in fact she didn’t see him again that entire day. She wondered, as she walked home, why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's the end of Britney/Brittany! And the Start of Grilled Cheesus.
> 
> Grilled Cheesus was actually one of the first episodes I re-wrote, I felt Kurt really needed a better friend in that moment... I hope you enjoy the next few chapters as much as I do!
> 
> Chapter title from 'Toxic' by Britney Spears


	6. When You're At Your Worst

“Oh my god, Kurt.” Erin exclaimed as she opened the door to his car on Tuesday morning.

Kurt looked exhausted, dark circles under his reddened eyes and dressed almost slovenly, at least for Kurt.

“Do I really look that bad,” He quipped with less bravado than usual. His voice sounded both rough, and far too soft.

“What happened?” She asked him softly, reaching out a hand to comfort him.

“My dad had a heart attack.” He said softly and his eyes widened, “Fuck, Erin, my dad’s in the hospital.” He broke down at this, as though the reality of the situation had finally sunk in. He leant his forehead against the steering wheel and let out a sob.

“Oh, Kurt.” Erin said with sympathy, hugging his back awkwardly over the center console. “Is he going to be okay? Where are you staying? You don’t have to drive me to school, I can walk, or wait for a bus, or something.”

“No, no, I need to go in.” Kurt said as he sat up, wiping his eyes and sniffling. He looked younger than 17 at that moment, like he’d reverted back to a child.

“Kurt, seriously, you should stay home, or go visit your dad. Is he going to be okay?”

“He’s in a fucking coma.” Kurt snapped, “What’s the point of staying by his bedside if he can’t hear me and doesn’t even know I’m there.”

“Okay, are you _sure_ you want to go to school?” Erin asked one final time and Kurt nodded, starting the car and driving out of Erin’s driveway.

“Who are you staying with?” She asked as they drove, and Kurt glanced at her out the corner of his eye.

“I’m staying at home.” He said simply.

“Okay,” She started slowly, “Do you have a family member or Finn’s mom or someone staying with you?” She asked, already inferring the answer from his tone of voice.

“I’m 17, I don’t need a babysitter.” He said shortly with an eye roll, and Erin sighed.

“When you drive me home later you’re going to your house first and packing a bag.” She said firmly. “You can sleep on the trundle in my room until we know exactly how your dad is doing. If he’s still in a coma by the end of next week we’re calling whoever your godparents are, or an aunt or uncle or Finn’s Mom or _someone_ , and they’re going to look after you.” Erin turned to him and saw his face crumple, she smiled sympathetically - lips twitching up slightly at the corners. “You’re still a minor even if you are only 7 months from 18.”

“How are you so fucking wise?” He asked her with a choked up laugh. 

She froze, and Kurt seemed to freeze next to her too, realising what he’d just said.

“When Dad passed away last May, I had to help Mum with the funeral, she was a wreck. I _had_ to grow up.” She shrugged as though it wasn’t a big deal when in actuality it was the biggest deal in the world.

“I’m so sorry.” Kurt said after a few seconds of silence. “I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s okay,” Erin told him, knowing he hadn’t meant to bring anything up. “But, I understand what you’re going through, right now. So if you need anyone…”

“I can’t lose him too.” Kurt said softly, his knuckles going white on the steering wheel as he clutched it.

“I’m here for you.” Erin said simply. She couldn’t bring herself to offer him false promises. She knew how damaging those could be, should the worst happen.

\------

Everyone seemed to somehow know about Kurt’s dad when they turned up to Glee Club, even Santana offered her sympathies and Brittany too, in her usual sweet but confusing way, offering Kurt a book report about heart attacks she’d written in crayon.

“What the hell happened!?” Finn shouted as he stormed into the choir room and up to Kurt. Kurt startled slightly before his face morphed back to the mask of indifference he’d been wearing all day.

“My dad’s in the hospital.” Kurt said simply, almost sounding flippant.

“I know,” Finn responded, “My mom just called me. I feel like I’m the last one to know!”

“Well, I’m sorry, Finn.” Kurt’s bitchy facade shined through as he talked. “It didn’t occur to me to call you because he’s not your father.”

Erin placed a hand on Kurt’s elbow to his left and he deflated slightly, defences falling.

“Sorry.” Kurt apologised with a wince, his head dropping.

Finn’s anger depleted as he looked closer at Kurt, taking in his appearance.

“He’s the closest I’m ever gonna get, man.” He said softly, sadness obvious in his voice. “You could have told me and my mom. She had to hear from the other nurses when she got into work this morning. I know it may not look like what everyone else has, but I thought we were sort of a family.”

Kurt just sank into his seat and moved his messenger bag off of the seat to his right. Finn smiled softly, sitting down.

“Hey guys.” Mr. Schue said from the front of the room, his usual energy and excitement gone. “Our thoughts are all with Kurt,” Finn moved to place a hand on Kurt’s shoulder and Kurt waged a finger at him shaking his head. “and uh, it’s sort of hard to focus on anything else…”

“Mr. Schue?” Mercedes interrupted cautiously and quietly, so different from her usual cadance.

“Yeah?”

“I’ve been struggling, trying to figure out what I wanted to say to Kurt all day,” She said, “and I realise I don’t want to say it, I want to sing it.”

Mr. Schue gestured her to the front.

“This song is about being in a very dark place and turning to God.” She explained, passing her sheet music to Brad.

Erin searched Kurt’s face as Mercedes talked, he looked almost annoyed at his best friend, a look of betrayal covering his face. Mercedes, however, missed the look as when she turned back to face Kurt he’d schooled his face into a mask of indifference.

Mercedes sang Whitney Huston’s ‘ _I Look to You_ ’ beautifully, her emotions clearly showing through the song. Everyone teared up, and Erin couldn’t help the couple of tears that escaped out the corners of her eyes. These guys really were real friends, and Erin couldn’t help but compare this moment to the situation she’d been in about a year ago, when all her friends had turned their backs on her as soon as she’d told them her father was in the hospital. She wished, not for the first time, that she’d had friends like these back then. Ones that had stuck by her instead of pushing her away, even in this terrible time, Kurt was lucky to have people there for him.

“Thank you, Mercedes.” Kurt sighed, sniffling slightly as everyone applauded and Quinn and Tina sat back down. “Your voice is stunning, but I don’t believe in God.”

“Wait, what?” Tina asked him incredulously as she got to her seat. A majority of the Glee Club looked at him in shock.

“You’ve all professed your beliefs. I’m just stating mine.” He said. “Erin expressed the same views yesterday and you didn’t react like this. I think God is kind of like Santa Claus for adults, otherwise God’s kind of a jerk, isn’t he?”

Erin rested her hand on Kurt’s shoulder. She understood where he was coming from, even if she, herself, had been touched by the sentiment behind Mercedes’ song.

“I mean, he makes me gay and then has his followers going around telling me it’s something that I chose. Like someone would choose to be mocked every. Single. Day of their life. And right now, I don’t want a heavenly father. I want my real one back.”

“But Kurt, how can you know for sure?” Mercedes asked. “I mean, you can’t prove that there’s no God.”

“Mercedes, you can’t prove that there is.” Erin interjected, suddenly feeling annoyed on Kurt’s behalf. How had this sweet moment turned into a witch hunt for atheists. Who cared what Kurt thought on the subject of religion, his dad was in a _coma_.

“There is no scientific reason for there to be a god, the only way people have ‘proved’ that God is real is through bias experiments, or by looking back on things with rose-tinted glasses. Personally, I believe more in science than I ever could in Faith, and I grew up _surrounded_ by devout Catholics. I’m bloody half Irish, most of my family go to mass every Sunday without fail. Could there be a God? Sure! Just like there i be a secret society of wizards a la Harry Potter! But it’s unlikely.”

“Is God Dumbledore?” Brittany asked in her usual confused deadpan. Santana just shook her head at her, smiling slightly.

“We shouldn’t be talking like this!” Quinn shouted, glaring at Erin and Kurt. “It’s not right!”

“I’m sorry, Quinn.” Kurt said, gathering his bag and standing up. “You can all believe whatever you want to. But I can’t believe something I don’t. I appreciate your thoughts, but I don’t want your prayers.”

With that Kurt left the room and everyone turned to Erin.

“You seriously don’t believe in God?” Mercedes asked her. “Even though you grew up learning about Him?”

“Honestly? I remember thinking at a young age, while in a Roman Catholic school, that every story in the bible was just that, a story. Like one of Aesop’s fables, or a fairy tale, something written years and years ago to give people a moral or a cautionary tale. Most everything that the bible says happened we now know couldn’t have really happened because it’s not scientifically possible.” Erin shrugged, “It’s as simple as that. Do I like Religion? Sometimes, sometimes not, most of them boil down to the same simple thing of ‘Love thy Neighbour’ and be a good person, and I agree with, and _like_ , that part of religion. I like Hymns, I grew up singing them every morning at school assemblies. I like the idea of prayer and catch myself saying the ‘Our Father’ when I’m stressed or nervous or sad like a security blanket. But I don’t really think anyone is listening. What I don’t like is the institutionalised Homophobia, Sexism, and countless other problems with organised religion.”

“But,” Quinn began but Erin cut in before she could continue.

“My dad died last May.” She couldn’t help but bark, “Cancer. Do you have a reason for your God to do that? Or why Kurt is bullied excessively by people who go to your church because your church tells them that being gay is punishable by eternal damnation, that loving someone is punishable by Hell?”

Erin took a deep breath, stood from her chair and stalked to the door, turning just before leaving.

“I’ll talk to Kurt, get him to see that you guys praying is your way of keeping his dad in your thoughts because you can’t do much of anything else. But please don’t try to preach to him, or convert him. His dad is in a fucking coma and he’s already lost his mum.” 

\------

“I think I may have just given Coach Slyvester a reason to try and stop Glee Club again.” Kurt said in lieu of a greeting as he met Erin at his car at the end of the school day.

“Again?” Erin asked, confused, as he unlocked the car and they climbed in. “How often does she try and stop the Glee Club?”

“This year? I don’t think she actively has. Last year? Too many times to count.” Kurt replied simply as he started the car.

“What did you do?” Erin asked with a sigh, settling down to hear the gossip.

“She called me into her office after Santana and Brittany told her about the ‘Spirituality’ lesson and I complained to her about how everyone is trying to preach and convert me.”

“Kurt...”

“I know,” He practically whined, “It was all kinds of stupid, we can’t have her on our backs again this year.”

“No, it’s not that.” Erin said, looking at his profile as he drove down the streets that were beginning to feel familiar. “They’re really not trying to preach, I don’t think, at least not actively… except maybe Quinn. They’re praying for your dad, sure, but it's mostly because that’s what they’ve been raised to do. ‘Thoughts and Prayers’. Trust me, while I don’t believe in God one bit, I definitely sent up a few ‘Our Fathers’ when _my_ dad was sick, just in _case_ someone was listening, because I couldn’t really do much else, that’s what I’d been raised to do, and I knew my dad and his family believed. So I get what they’re doing, they just want to show their support.”

“Mercedes sang a song about turning to God in hard times, Erin.” Kurt snapped. “If that’s not preaching, what is it?”

“Maybe she meant that _she’d_ turned to God. I don’t know, Kurt. But she’s trying?”

“I know that, deep down.” He relented, sighing, “I just don’t really appreciate it, I feel like they suddenly forgot that my dad was maybe on his fucking death bed and decided to just lay into us because we don’t believe in some mythical man who lives in the clouds.”

They finally turned into Kurt’s drive and they sat in silence for a bit as the engine idled.

“I don’t want them to preach to me, is that so much to ask for? Do I have to believe in something?”

“Of course not, I don’t. The stories _sometimes_ have good morals and conclusions, emphasis on the sometimes, but I don't believe most of them are real - especially things that have been proven impossible like Adam and Eve, and Noah’s Ark, and Jesus’ resurrection.”

“Huge emphasis on the sometimes.” Kurt agreed as he turned off the engine and opened his door.

“Do you need any help packing stuff?” Erin asked before she opened her own door, Kurt just shook his head with a shaky smile.

“Nah, I’ll hopefully only need a few outfits and my laptop and stuff.” He paused after he jumped gracefully from the car and turned to look at her again before he closed the driver’s side door.

“Thanks, Erin.” He said sincerely with a grateful smile. “No one else asked who I was staying with, not even Mr. Schue or Ms. Pillsbury. They just left me at the Hospital.”

Erin frowned at that, wondering what was wrong with Mr. Schue, not asking a highschool junior if someone was at home to look after him when his only living parent was in the hospital.

“They should have called someone.” Erin said with indignation and disbelief.

“Well, he and Ms. Pillsbury - and every other teacher at McKinley High - are incompetent. So it wasn’t exactly a surprise.”

“I’m only 14 and I know that you shouldn’t be alone in your house right now!”

“Yeah, well you’re smarter than all the teachers put together.” Kurt said with a genuine laugh. “And seriously, thanks.”

\------

“You’re free to come and go as you please as long as you text Erin if you’re not coming back for dinner. Are you sure you’re okay on the trundle?”

“Mum stop fussing and let me show Kurt to my room.” Erin said with a slight laugh, herding Kurt towards the stairs.

“Thank you for letting me stay here, Mrs. Bailey.” Kurt said politely as he looked at her, overwhelmed.

“Of course, dear, of course. And please, call me Rose! Dinner will be ready at about 6:30 if that’s okay? We should have snacks in the kitchen if Xander and his football friends haven’t eaten them all again.” 

As Rose continued Erin simply grabbed hold of Kurt’s sleeve and tugged him up the stairs with her.

“I am so sorry,” Erin said, dragging him into her room. “She’s a bit over the top.”

“She’s intense.” Kurt replied and Erin laughed.

“Yep, but she’s harmless, she just likes to feed people and make sure they’re okay. She wanted to be a nurse before she got into teaching, apparently.”

“Your mom’s a teacher?” Erin nodded. “Where?”

“She’s a professor at OSU-Lima.” Erin replied as she rolled the trundle out from under her bed, moving to her closet and tugging out sheets, pillows, and a comforter. Kurt put his suitcase on the ground and opened it.

“Do you have somewhere I can hang some of my clothes up?” He asked. Erin moved some of her own clothes to the side to make room.

“Thanks.” Kurt said as he started hanging up his clothes. “So you’re brother’s on the Football team? I thought the only new guy was that Sam kid.”

“Huh?” Erin asked, confused, as she sat on the newly made trundle.

“Your mom said ‘Xander and his football friends’ but the Glee Jocks have only talked about Sam.” Kurt replied, soothing a crease out of one of his shirts before hanging it up.

“Oh,” Erin replied with a slight giggle, flopping back onto the bed. “He’s on the _soccer_ team,” She explained, putting on an exaggerated American accent. “Not the American football team. We’re still stuck in our British English ways in this house despite Mum being American.”

“I didn’t even know McKinley _had_ a soccer team.” Kurt said in confusion, before shrugging and hanging up another shirt.

“Well, if we don’t my brother has some explaining to do about where he is all the time.” Erin laughed, before sobering slightly. “Are you going to go visit your dad before dinner?” She asked.

“Yeah, I should be back before six though, there’s not really much I can do there.” Kurt replied, hanging his last article of clothing and falling onto Erin’s bed with a sigh. “I think I read somewhere that acupuncture can help with brain stimulation, I might talk to some doctors about trying that.”

“Doesn’t hurt to try.” Erin said, turning onto her front and looking at him. “Why didn’t you think of telling Finn’s mom?”

“Honestly, I just forgot.” Kurt shrugged, looking up at the ceiling, “I didn’t tell anyone until I told you this morning. I have no idea how anyone else even found out except maybe Mr. Schue or Miss. Pillsbury were talking about it.”

“And the gossip spread through the halls.” Erin finished his thought.

“Exactly.” Kurt sat up and moved his hair off of his forehead. “I should get going.” He sighed as he stood up.

“I’ll see you later.” Erin said, standing up herself and hesitating for a moment before hugging him tightly. “I’m not going to say it’s going to be okay, because I know how much that hurts when it isn’t… but I’ll keep him in my thoughts, okay? And I’m sure the doctors are doing all they can.”

“Thanks, Erin.” Kurt muttered back, squeezing slightly before pulling away with a half smile and leaving the room. 

Sounds of her mother fussing over Kurt floated from the floor below as Erin sat on her bed and glanced over at the photo of her dad on her bedside table. She hoped, for her friend’s sake, that everything would turn out okay in the end.

\------

“Unfortunately,” Mr Schue said as the Glee Club settled at Wednesday’s rehearsal, “We’ve been asked by the school board not to sing religious songs.”

“Last week we were too sexy, this week we’re too religious! We can’t win!” Tina said impassionately, a large percentage of the Glee Club were equally as incensed.

“Now I know what Miley feels like.” Brittany said with her usual deadpan.

“The real tragedy here is that I found the most perfect spiritual song to sing this week, and now it’s been torn away from me like Sophie’s daughter.” Rachel said with her usual theatricality. 

“Guys, you can still sing whatever songs you like that sum up your feelings about God, about spirit. You just can’t do it on school time.” Mr Schue said, trying, and once again failing, to calm the club down.

“I hope you’re happy, Kurt.” Santana snarked.

“I’m having the week of my life, actually.” Kurt replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes slightly. His voice was still softer than it usually was, and sounded slightly hoarse. His quip didn’t have the same impact it usually had.

Only Erin knew that it was because he’d cried himself to sleep the night before after visiting his dad and having a quiet dinner with her family, where he mostly pushed his food around his plate.

“Guys, back off Kurt, okay?” Mr Schue said softly, “He had every right to speak his mind.”

“Look Kurt, we’re sympathetic to what you’re going through, but siding with Miss Sylvester isn’t gonna do anyone any good.” Mercedes spoke up from the other side of the room. Erin wondered why she was so far away from her supposed best friend in his time of need. In fact, looking around the room from her position on Kurt’s left she realised that there was a distinct divide between them and the rest of the club. Why?

She remembered yesterday, when she had been wishing her friends back home had been as supportive of her as these kids were for Kurt, but now, looking at everyone, she was reminded of her old so called friends. She remembered how they had all left a gap surrounding her at the lunch table, how they had all partnered up in classes and left her to partner with someone outside the group (or, god forbid, the teacher). Were these guys pushing Kurt out of the group deliberately, like her ‘friends’ had done, or was it less sinister than that? She hoped it was the latter. 

She refused to leave Kurt alone though, knowing he needed someone by his side during this difficult time but was too scared to ask for that comfort. At least, that was how she had been.

“Look, I didn’t mean to have Coach Slyvester on our backs again.” Kurt told them, fiddling with the end of his scarf. “But you know how she is, You say one thing and it fuels her. She called _me_ into her office! I only said that I didn’t appreciate how all of you were preaching to me rather than _helping_ me. She already knew we were doing a Spirituality week before she called me into her office, so obviously one of you already snitched to her.” He glared in the direction of Santana and Brittany. 

“Am I happy you guys aren’t going to keep singing song after song trying to get me to turn to a god I don’t believe in? Sure, but I also…” He paused glancing back at Erin before continuing, “I also understand that you guys are just trying to help me through this in the only way you know how. But the thing is that it _isn’t_ helping me. If anything, the fact that my dad’s in the hospital has turned me even further away from believing in a god. I don’t believe, and I’m not going to, and that should be as fine as all of you having your own beliefs. What I’m trying to believe in right now is my dad and his ability to make it through this, the doctors looking after him. Pray for my dad all you want, but don’t try to convert me, because it’s not going to happen.”

There was a beat or two of silence as the group took in Kurt’s words. It was the quietest the room had been the entire time Erin had been a member.

“You’re trying to convert us into atheists though,” Quinn said, breaking the silence. “You and Erin.”

“No, Erin and I are just telling you what _we_ believe.” Kurt shot back, trying, but ultimately failing, to keep his calm. “We’re not asking you to stop praying, to stop believing, we’re just explaining our beliefs and telling you that we don’t want to be converted to yours! All you guys have done, in the couple of days my dad’s been in the hospital, is _preach at me_. NONE of you, not even _you,_ Mr. Schue, have asked how I am. _None_ of you have asked where I’ve been staying while my only living parent is perhaps on his _deathbed_. Only Erin, who’s known me for _less than a month_ has tried to actually _help me_.”

His voice raised as he spoke until he was practically screaming at his friends, tears beginning to fall down his face. He sniffed and swiped at his eyes before collecting his bag and fleeing the choir room with as much dignity as he could muster. Erin waited a beat, looking at everyone’s faces, cataloguing their various expressions, and was glad to see that all of them looked suitably chastised. She gathered her own belongings and walked out after Kurt.

\------

They drove back to Erin’s after Kurt got himself back together, skipping the last two periods of school, the drive felt long as the car stayed silent, the usual sound of music nonexistent. Erin couldn’t blame him, she remembered being unable to find joy in music when her dad was in the hospital, too.

“Do you want me to come with you when you visit your dad later?” She asked him as they got out of the car and Kurt simply nodded.

\------

Sitting at the bedside of a man she’d never met, Erin admittedly felt rather awkward. But she was there for her friend, and she remembered wanting a friend at her side when she visited her dad in the hospital. But that had been different. Every time she visited her father he’d been awake, near the end he’d been quieter, more subdued, but still _awake_ , able to talk to her and make her feel comforted. Kurt didn’t have that. Kurt didn’t even have another parent to help him through this. Kurt only really had her and the rest of the Glee Club.

So here she was, simply sitting next to Kurt as he stared at his father in silence. Erin wanted to tell him to talk to his dad, but knew it would be fruitless. Kurt was stubborn, she’d figured out in the short time she’d known him, and could rarely be swayed from his particular viewpoint. He didn’t think his dad could hear him, so he stayed silent.

As they left the room an hour or so later, Erin lagged behind, looking at Mr. Hummel, and closed her eyes, saying a silent ‘Our Father’. Even if no one was listening, it wouldn’t hurt.

“I hope you wake up soon, Mr. Hummel.” She said softly as she opened her eyes, before turning and walking out after Kurt, lengthening her strides to catch up with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from 'What It Means To Be A Friend' from '13 The Musical'  
> (also Erin's audition song)
> 
> Erin's thoughts are kinda mine as a 14 year old, and now at 24 if I'm honest, but I feel like I'm a bit more spiritual than I used to be and definatly more accepting of religion as long as people don't use it as an excuse to be bigots.


End file.
